There are strange things coming out of Washington DC these days, and I’m not just talking about the city’s shutdown over a light snow dusting a few days ago (Memo to DC, I know its hard to steer your BMW in a little in 2 inches of snow, but if you were smart enough to go to Georgetown Law, I bet you’re smart enough to figure out how to drive. Do you know what we call what you got on Monday in Ohio? April). The new Congress has voted on its first few bills, and the results are a little strange.

The Obama administration had placed a public premium on becoming more bipartisan. On the most recent high profile legislation, the economic stimulus bill, many would say more than a good faith effort was made. One of the most egregious bits of pork (millions for sex education slipped in by Pelosi) was removed. Concessions were made, meetings were held…and when it came time to count the vote, every single House Republican voted against it. All of them.

This wasn’t just for this piece of higher profile legislation. Nate Silver at 538 just wrote a great piece on this…nearly every Republican in the House voted against the transition to digital tv (a measure that was supported by EVERY SINGLE Senate Republican), and all but 3 voted against the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, a measure that was supported by all 4 Republican Women Senators. It would appear that Eric Cantor and the House GOP Leadership don’t exactly plan to be very conciliatory.

And to that, I have to say…are you guys crazy?

This isn’t overly partisan Matt Brown, watching the GOP implosion with schadenfreude. This is serious professional journalist Matt…for the life of me, I can’t understand this strategy.

Obama is one of the most talented, politically anyway, politicians in our generation. He’s sitting on nearly a 70% approval rating. The public, depending on how their asked, supports the stimulus bill by large margins (from 17-40%, depending on the poll). House Republicans, actually, Republicans in general, have been flat out getting slaughtered in almost every election since 2006. There is a pretty clear public mandate going on right now.

So when your national brand is so low (and poised to get even lower, given what seats they have to defend in the Senate in 2010), why run the risk of being *perceived* as being obstructionists to the popular agenda? Nobody should expect Republicans to go along with everything Obama wants, but whats the point of killing digital TV transition, (when all your GOP peers in the Senate thought it was okay)? Did every single GOP Congressman who represents a +D district already lose? If not, this behavior isn’t going to help.

You can’t run against a president with a 68% approval rating. Democrats did this from 2006-2008, because George W. Bush was about as popular as venereal disease.

Mitch McConnell is right. The future isn’t so bright for Republicans, unless they make some changes (which Conservatives, by their very nature, are rarely very excited to make). In addition to being saddled with the legacy of one of the most unpopular presidents in US history, in addition to having a fairly short bench, they have a coming demographic explosion on their hands. The electorate is changing, and the Nixon’s southern strategy, or Rove’s divide and conquer, aren’t going to work anymore.

The US electorate is going to have a lot more people like me. More Latinos. More young people. More folks employed in the service sector. The demographic that has been the GOP base for so long, older white males, is shrinking. Either you make changes to make your party more inclusive, or you become content to rule over Utah, Idaho, Alaska and Alabama.

The next few months should be interesting…if this behavior is prolonged, will there be any backlash? Does this mean that Eric Cantor is the de facto face of the Republican Party? (Better than Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh I guess) Will the next head of the DNC understand that there is more to winning a larger share of young people than using facebook?

Who knows. This political season could have more unanswered questions, and make less sense than a season of Lost (but with less polar bears).

A lot of the gifts I’ve mentioned so far are pretty unrealistic. Some of them aren’t even technically “for sale”, like that Jetpack (which means if you really love me…you’ll steal me one for Christmas). This next gift idea is something that is apparently very much on the open market, and would mean more to me than any of these comically over the top nerd toys.

That’s right. I’m talking about the Democratic US Senate seat in Illinois.

I know what you’re thinking right now. “Matt, you are not constitutionally allowed to take that seat. You’re only 21 years old, and you don’t even come close to meeting the residency requirements…and if it came down to it, we could probably come up with a crazy legal theory to show that you haven’t been a US Citizen for 9 years”. And you know what? You’re right. I don’t think I’ve spent more than 6 nights in Illinois in my entire life, and I am not 30 years old.

But you guys are missing the point here. If you can actually try to SELL A US SENATE SEAT with a straight face, anything is possible! Constitutional roadblocks are merely typos and technicalities in the way of my master plan of becoming Sen. Matt Brown (D-whatever state that will take me)

Quite frankly, I think this arrangement will work out best for everybody here, and I’m not just saying that because I want membership to the Senate gym (I might feel like a shrimp here in the Ohio State gym, but once I’m pumping iron next to Frank Lautenberg and Orin Hatch, I’m going to look like Jose freaking Canseco).

US Senators are often accused of being in the pocket of special interest groups, partly because of their business holdings. I won’t have that problem…I don’t own diddily squat. I’ll be the first US Senator with negative net worth (thank you student loans). I’ll never have to excuse myself from any bill because of a conflict of interest, unless we’ve voting on giving Mormons reparations or something.

As the junior senator from Illinois, I promise to take on the issues that nobody else wants to talk about. When everybody else is talking about boring issues, like bailouts for auto companies, I plan to investigate the BCS (I plan on voting NO on all auto bailout bills by the way. Those companies are in Michigan, and I don’t give a damn for the whole state of Michigan…cause I’m from O-HI-O). I’ll let my headline grabbing peers go after financial systems and the Middle East. I’ll set up subcommittees on textbook gouging, ATM fees, and getting an a la carte cable system (Seriously. Why am I paying for Lifetime and TLC, when I could be getting ESPN The Ocho. This is a national travesty). I’ll even throw the good people of Illinois a bone, and get Ron Zook and Gary Bettman arrested for something. I got your back guys.

Also, I promise to make C-SPAN watchable. I’m thinking bringing special musical guests to perform halfway through my speeches. Ladies and Gentlemen, before I continue my address on health care reform…please, put your hands together for THE JOHN MAYER TRIO WOOOOOOOO.

According to Jesse Jackson Jr, the going rate for US Senator is around a million bucks to Blaggo’s campaign/legal defense fund. Lets find a way to make this happen.