Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once – the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.-Crash Davis, Bull Durham.

Davis was talking about the difference between minor league baseball, and “The Show”, the Majors. This past weekend, I finally got called up to the show myself.

In addition to writing snarky notes on politics and whatnot on a very sporadic basis, I sometimes do actual journalist things. During the fall, I covered high school football, and since then, I’ve done some reporting on other events, from the Presidential Inauguration, to little kid swim meets. All of those experiences, no matter how small the event, were fun and worthwhile…but they weren’t  The Show.

On Friday though, I finally got called up. My friend Chris Webb runs The Buckeye Nine, a (really good) sports blog that covers the Ohio State Baseball team.  The Big Ten Tournament was being held downtown at Huntington Park (home of the AAA Columbus Clippers), and he thought he needed an extra hand to cover all the games. He also managed to get ahold of (and this is important), *two press credentials*. The decision was easy.  I was going to spend as much time at the ballpark as possible that weekend.

Huntington Park is brand spanking new, and right in the middle of the Arena District downtown. I don’t know how many of you have gotten the chance to check the place out yet, but if you like baseball, I strongly encourage it. It is one of the best ballparks I have ever been to, Majors or Minors. Remember how Cooper Stadium’s backdrop was a graveyard, and some highways? Now we have the skyline of scenic downtown Columbus. They added seats in the outfield, luxury boxes, leg room…words don’t do it justice. It is just a great place to spend a summer afternoon.

And all of that is for you guys who bought tickets, and didn’t have one of those yellow cards hanging around your neck that said PRESS. This was my Willy Wonka Golden Ticket…and the third level of the stadium, which has the press boxes and the luxury suites, might as well have been the Chocolate factory to me.

You have to understand the conditions I toiled under before. My old paper didn’t give me a press pass, so I sometimes had to pay for my own ticket if the lady working the window didn’t believe I was a reporter (No, I drove all the way from Columbus , in a tie, just to watch Centerburg today). High School press boxes are usually small, can give you splinters, obscure your view, and almost NEVER have free food. After you take into account me buying food, my gas money and sometimes buying a ticket, I would almost lose money covering some games. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like doing it, because I did…just that it wasn’t the show.

You also had to do everything yourself. Keep your own stats, transcribe your own quotes, know your own background information, etc. If you were lucky, there might be a guy in there who hasn’t left his press box seat in 30 years and can tell you some background stuff, but other than that, you are totally on your own.

At Huntington Park, they have a staff that does *those things for you*. When I first stepped into that air conditioned press box, I thought I had died and gone to journalist heaven.  They had rosters, media guides, box scores, statistical information and more all neatly on a table. They had media relations and conference officials ready to answer every question.

AND THERE WAS FOOD. All the pretzels I could eat, and a catered meal at the 7:00 game…which was better than most of the food I make myself at home. Plus, the luxury boxes were almost totally empty, but still stocked with food…so I might have borrowed some fruit from there.

Basically, all I had to do was sit down in the sun with my laptop, watch baseball games, and write. What could be better than that?

The baseball games themselves were a little boring (most were massive blowouts. Indiana won every game by at least ten runs to win the tournament. Ohio State was 3^rd), but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t excitement at the ballpark.

For example, I’d say there is at least a 35% chance the Columbus Dispatch stole from us.

During a slower part of one of the games, me and Chris began to discuss the finer points of interviewing coaches and athletes. Sadly, a lot of sports interviews end up like the one in Bull Durham.

Crash Davis: It’s time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time.”
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Got to play… it’s pretty boring.
Crash Davis: ‘Course it’s boring, that’s the point. Write it down.

We decided that perhaps the most egregious sports interview cliché is the line “It is what it is”. What the crap does that mean? Coach! Why did your pitchers suck today? “Well…you know, it is what it is.”. That’s a little useful for meeting a hard word count, but we learn absolutely nothing. We loudly joked about it, and made several references to that line in our live blog of the game that night.

Bob Hunter, the reporter there from the Columbus Dispatch, wasn’t seated very far away from us, and could have heard the whole thing. We open the Dispatch the next day, and whats his lead?

Big Ten Baseball. It is what it is.

As they say at Wikipedia, Citation Needed.

( Note: I’m not seriously accusing the Dispatch of ripping me off here, but the coincidence is pretty crazy)

The other thing I’m going to really remember is that I got a vote for MVP, and the All Tournament team.  I guess this shouldn’t have surprised me, because the media typically votes on those things, and I was in fact, part of the media, but I was still shocked.

So me and Chris pour over all the box scores, and I frantically google to make sure I have everybody’s name spelled correctly. It occurred to me that we were probably two of the few media members who saw virtually every game. We ended up calling a little more than half of the team correctly, but I can’t help but shake the feeling that a lot of guys were just voting for the people playing in the title game, or in the one or two games they saw. In college football, people complain all the time about media members voting teams based on name, because they don’t watch all the games. I buy into that theory a little more now.

All in all, it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had as a writer. I have a newfound appreciation for college baseball, and am busily trying to find ways to help take this blog (or others)  to the next level. Writing about sports (or anything really) is wonderful work if you can get it, but once you taste the show, you don’t want to go back to the minors.

Still more live  bloggin going on at http://b9tourneycentral.blogspot.com/

I give you, the full transcript of my liveblogging with my buddies at The Buckeye Nine Blog

Helping out with reporting today is Matt Brown, a Columbus writer who has contributed for the Newark Advocate and Columbus Monthly. He is also a senior at Ohio State.

COLUMBUS-1:30 PM- I’m just now starting my walk from my office downtown (I have a Clark Kent job there) towards swanky Huntington Park, home of the AAA Columbus Clippers. There isn’t a cloud in the sky, and its maybe 80 degrees, an absolutely perfect day to sit around and watch baseball. Its times like this that I actually feel sad that I’m moving away in a few weeks. Columbus really isn’t a bad town. The Arena District has two great stadiums, a great place to catch concerts, and several good bars and restaurants. The only thing that would make it better would be if the Crew Stadium was here instead of by the fairgrounds in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention the Short North, Campus, Clintonville, German Village…I’m telling you, upon further review, Columbus is underrated.

2:20 PM. Bottom 6th of the day game, with Purdue beating Michigan State 8-6. The Boilermakers end a possible rally with their second baseman making a leaping catch to steal a hit. I’m still kind of taken aback by the quality of the facilities here. This park might sit 10,000 people, and its brand new. There are luxury boxes, and bars…its just so big league. I’ve come a long way from covering JV Newark girls basketball, and getting splinters in the Northridge High Press box. I bet this place even has WiFi.

2:31 PM: Not only does this place have WiFi, it has like three different networks. I didn’t even get cell service at some of the high schools I covered. Michigan State is struggling with pitching control now. Top of the 7th, and the bases are loaded with two outs….so they’re making a pitching change (Tony Bucciferro). This game could get away from them in a hurry, since MSU isn’t exactly known for being able to make up runs in bunches.

2:34: Bucciferro gets the grounder, and out of the jam. The organ is playing Take me out to the ball game now, and there are so few people in the stands that I can’t actually hear the words. Okay, so maybe not everything is so different from my last sports reporting gig.

2:42, MSU goes down 1,2,3 in the bottom 7th frame. (LF) showed some good hustle trying to snag a fowl ball in the stands. It was a little bit easier considering that the entire section was empty. Jaffee up.

2:48 I get up for like, 5 min to try and get lineups and media guides for everybody, and naturally, miss Purdue’s Brandon Havemen knock in an RBI single, and then advance to second on a wild pitch. 9-6 Purdue. In unrelated news, whoever fills out the lineup card for Purdue has really bad handwriting. Somebody in their AD needs to start typing that stuff out. Just sayin’

2:49 Charles strikes out to end the top of the 8th.

2:57- Lost some more time trying to figure out this newfangled blogger software…ended up missing the first few batters of the inning. Eli Boike is batting for the Spartans, two ours, with a runner on third.

2:58 Boike came *THIS CLOSE* to absolutely crushing some hapless guy’s laptop off a foul ball. He then followed that up with smacking a sharp grounder up the middle that was mishandled by Purdue’s 1st basemen. Boike goes to second, runner scores. Shindler up. 9-7 Purdue.

3:00 Shindler flies out to end the inning. The Spartan faithful were getting pretty riled up over over what they perceived to be some questionable strike calls. For what its worth, this is def. a Spartan crowd…..(get it? Cause…like….there aren’t very many people here)

3:04 Cummins rips a single to start the 9th for Purdue. Black up.

3:05 Full count now on Cummins. Reason number #43 why I love Huntington Park so far….we have the Wendy’s Hamburger Balcony. Not quite sure what that means, but I like it.

3:07 Sparty mishandles a grounder from Black, but recover in time to get him out at first. Cummins to second.

3:13 I get up for a second again, getting back to my seat just in time to see Serrato rip a double to right center, scoring two runs for the Boilermakers. 2 outs, runner on second for Alex Jaffee. It is 11-7 Purdue.

3:14 Jaffee knocks a sharp grounder down the third base line that takes a high, funny bounce. It barely stays fair, giving him a double and an RBI. 12-7 Purdue.

3:18 I am loving Huntington Park, but now I think I’ve found my first flaw. That giant scoreboard is a little heavy on pizazz, and a little light on critical infomation. Maybe I’m just sitting in a bad spot, but from my seat, I can tell if Alex Jaffee remembered to brush his teeth on team picture day (he did!), but I have a harder time reading the pitch count. I also can’t really see who is pitching, and I’ve been all over the place during this game. I’m sure the UM/IU game will be a lot smoother.

Last chance for Sparty. Down 12-7 in the bottom of the ninth. Lets see how Purdue’s bullpen answers the call.

3:23Jeff Holm up for the Spartans. 1 out, runners on first and second. I gotta step away from the laptop though.

4:03-Naturally, the second I step away from the computer, MSU rips a double and makes it a 3 run game. I’ll just go ahead and give you guys advance notice that I have to step away from the computer, so you’ll know when something big is coming. It must be the Murphy’s Law of sports journalism. Purdue over Michigan State, 12-9.

I’ll work on getting a cleaner write-up soon. In the meantime, #3 seed Indiana and #2 seed Minnesota will be starting in a little bit. The ballpark is still mostly empty, but its defiantly starting to fill up. Chris was right, the Gopher fans do travel awfully well, for such a long trip.

4:17 Handran will get the start for the Gophers. IU’s lineup today is Lambert, Sabourin, Phegley, Dickerson, Schulz, Crawford, Gonzalez, Rogers and Dunning.

The Gophers Media guide tells me Handran is from Montana and likes camping. I like this guy. As soon as I type that though, he gives up a first pitch single.

4:21-Josh Phegley up for the Hoosiers with two on and nobody out (Sabourin was hit by a pitch). Biggest different between games so far? Noise. The Hoosier fans (and team for that matter) are pretty vocal. I don’t think I heard much of a peep from any of the MSU or Purdue players when they were on the field.

4:23 Actually, I take that back. I think all that yelling might be one Hoosier Mom. Phegley knocks a single up the middle. Runners on the corners for Alex Dickerson. 1-0 Indiana.

4:27, After a Dickerson strikeout, Schulz knocks in another runner with a single. 2-0 Hoosiers. Evan Crawford (Reynoldsburg represent!) is up for Indiana.

4:31, Handran settles down, strikes out Crawford and gets a pop out. 2-0 IU. Bashore hits the mound of Indiana. Minny will send out Nohelly, Pettersen, McCallum, Kvasnicka, Knudson, O’Shea, Decker, Gominsky and Geason.

4:40-I’m not the only one who is singing the praises of Huntington Park today. Purdue Head Coach Doug Schreiber raved about the area at the post game press conference. Coach Schreiber admitted he hadn’t been to the Arena District before, but said he was “very very impressed” with the facilities. “It’s been very well planned and organized, and the manpower has been unbelievable. I think its important that our kids get a chance to play at such a first class stadium and get treated first class”. His only complaint? When he sees a Purdue pitch knocked over the fence. “Then I wonder…is that fence too close?”

As for the game, runners on 1st and second for Minny, with two outs. Kyle Knudson at the plate.

4:44-A few more press conference notes for ya’ll. Schreiber was pleased with “how we hit the ball better. We were consistent in our scoring, even though we never really got that big inning. We left 15 men on base, and we’ll have to improve that.” Coach Boss of Michigan State admitted that the little by little scoring by Purdue really hurt his team’s chances today.

“We just couldn’t stop the bleeding early. They just kept chippin’ away, and before you know it, they’ve put 12 on the board.” Todd added, “We also walked 12 guys, and its tough to win when you do that.”

Minny grounds out to end the inning. Rodgers leading off for the Hoosiers.

4:50-Dunning leads off with a standup double, and is followed by a double by Lambert. 3-0 Indiana.

4:56 Indiana’s bats are really working today. They’ve strung four hits in a row now to take a 4-0 lead. Runners are on 3rd and 2nd…..wait, make that 6-0, since Dickerson’s sharp ground ball was mishandled and he turned it into a double. The Gophers better stop that bleeding quick.

5:00-Gophers do in fact stop the bleeding and get out of the inning. O’Shea is up for the Golden Gophers.

When asked how his tournament experience will impact his team next season, Coach Boss for Michigan State wanted to talk defense. “When you play well on defense, and when you make those routine plays, good things will happen. Today, we gave some things away, and those miscues are really magnified in the tournament. When you do the little things, you’ll be okay.” He then added, “However, despite those miscues, we gave ourselves a chance to win today. I’m really proud of our kids.”

5:06=The Gophers go down 1-2-3, and Gonzalez leads off with yet another double. I’m a little surprised to see the Minny pitching staff get shelled like this so early in the game, even though Indiana is quite a good hitting team.

5:15-quiet 3rd inning after the previous offensive explosion. Minny has yet to get a hit as we head into the top of the 4th. Even the random loud Indiana fan has taken a break. I think she was trying to do her best Dave Chappelle as Lil’ John impression. After every other pitch, I’d hear some “WHOOOOWWAHHHAAAT? OOOOKKAAAAY! YYEAAAH!” coming from section 9. I was half expecting a “GET CRUNK” at the end. It looks like she’s done though. Peace has been restored.

5:25 Gophers seem to be getting into a pitching grove, as they get out of the 4th without giving up a hit. I’ve walked out of the confines out the press box to watch the game from the open air area on the 3rd level. On one hand, its an absolutely awesome day, and I can get a *much* better view of the action. On the other hand, I have to live with the crushing fear that i might accidentally knock the laptop off this tiny desk and send it flying down a dozen rows of bleachers. Also, somebody just brought brownies to the press room.

5:39-Nick O’Shea breaks the offensive drought for the Gophers in the bottom of the 5th with a leadoff single. Eric Decker now batting.

Also, winner winner pasta dinner! Man, when I worked high school sports, a good night for me is when somebody bought an extra hot dog and gave it to the press guy out of pity. These guys have a full catered spread. Another reason to love this place.

5:46 Two outs now, but runners on the corners for Minny. DH Matt Nohelty is up, trying to make something happen.EDIT-aaaaaand he’s caught looking. To the 6th we go!

6:00 7-0 IU now, after some timely hitting. Gophers make a pitching change. Also, Chris Webb is in the house.

6:20 IU has really opened it up, taking a 9-0 lead. Looks like we’ll see Minny and Purdue tomorrow. The crowd is slowly starting to get bigger as OSU fans start to filer in. I was expecting a few more people. Maybe the ten dollar ticket prices are turning people away? I don’t know if I would pay ten dollars if I didn’t have a press pass.

7:18 Kinda turning in and out here. Indiana beats Minny 12-3. Minny was two hit until the 7th inning…wasn’t really close most of the way. The stands are really starting to full up now with the scarlet clad Buckeye faithful. Its too bad Explore Columbus didn’t get in on this, and give OSU Students a discount or anything. Coupla bucks, go see OSU, drink in the Arena District….I’m just sayin’.

The Buckeyes just took the field for stretching and warm ups, and the crowd goes wild. You gotta be excited for the guys playing today, stepping out onto such an awesome facility, getting this kind of crowd support…everybody likes playing under the lights.

7:52: Is it game time yet? I’m all hyped up ready for the game. I don’t know if thats the energy from the ballpark, or the fact that I’ve had about 4 free pops from the press box and I’m not sure where the bathroom is.

7:57- You know what would be really funny? There is some green space in deep center field…maybe, in a nod to the old Cooper Stadium, we can throw up some fake gravestones. Just a thought.

7:59- Chris- “Is there anything less helpful in coach speak than the phrase “It is what it is? Why did your pitching stink? Well…you know, it is what it is…”

8:01- So everybody just stood up, thinking we were going to sing the national anthem after player introductions…..surprise! We didn’t! It sure was good to get that first inning stretch in though.

8:04- And we’re off! Wimmers is lighting up the radar gun already, hitting 93, 94 MPH. Guess somebody is a little pumped up to play today. 1, 2, 3 goes Illinois.

8:12 Strack getting the ball for UI today. Kovanda is the first guy to get in the box score with a single up the middle. Stephens grounds into a double play though to tend the first.

8:17 Aaron Johnston strikes first blood with a monster 2 run shot to left field to give Illinois a 2-0 lead. That will prob land outside the 614.

8:23-Wimmers recovers to end the inning without any more damage. Meanwhile, the PA is blasting Bruce Springsteen’s Hungry Heart. I’m a *huge* Bruce fan, but is this really baseball pump up music? I don’t have an urge to get up and clap and scream now. Maybe sway…..

8:28 I was a few feet from maybe getting hit with a foul ball. Don’t worry, we’re all okay here.

8:30, Buckeyes get one back with a double from Arp (another Reynoldsburg Represent. Also, I want you guys to know that the guy next to me is screaming like a little girl every time the Buckeyes do something. He is at least 50. And I mean…seriously. Like a girl.

8:37-Does anybody know what the ball completely dies in the air when it gets hit into deep center here? I’ve seen several shots that were hit hard enough to get out of the park, but something in deep center just keeps the ball in play. Further research required.

8:49 Buckeyes get a double play thanks to some OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE (or just blocking the catcher from throwing a dude out). Also, I saw my first stadium O-H-I-O at a baseball. Its not saturday in the shoe, but it was still pretty impressive. This crowd is pretty quiet, but you can tell they’re into it as soon as some actual action happens. The guy next to me is still pretty much yelling 24/7 though.

Buckeyes are swinging at a lot of first pitches. They’re getting their hits, but they also have five first pitch outs. Some more patience at the plate will likely get them some better at bats. Only two batters have seen more than three pitches in their at bat! Thats not a good stat.

Top 5 coming up, UI up 2-1. That insight brought to you by Chris Webb

9:03, Bucks trying to get out of a jam after walking the first two batters…by striking out the next two. I’ve also just noticed that there are people everywhere here…in all of the stands, the restaurants, Neil ave…everywhere EXCEPT the AEP Power Pavilion. Not one person! I mean, there are even people in the Hamburger Balcony! Next time I work a game here, I’m reporting LIVE from the Power Pavilion, even though that prob isn’t actually in the stadium.

9:19 Johnson is on fire. He’s 3-3 with all three RBI (and Illinois only has 4 hits). Illinois now up 3-1 here in the 6th. This is becoming a tough inning…4-1. Bottom 6.

Big at bat here for the Buckeyes. Two on, nobody out for Ryan Dew. Did you know that Dew is the all time leading rusher at Worthington KIllborne? Now you do!

Dew eeks out an infield single. Everybody is safe now for Justin Miller. Bases Jacked, no outs, and the crowd is going nuts. Girl man is reaching a whole new level.

Miller gets a sac fly. Runners on the corners, 4-2. Arp gets an RBI line out…should have been a double play, but Illinois made a mental error. Another grounder ends the inning. 4-3. Not bad, not bad.

9:44 game might be getting away from Wimmers. He just gave up a double Good D prevented the run, but now he’s got 2 and 3 with only 1 out. (yup, and Wimmers is headed out of the game. 6 hits, 4 runs, 6 and a third)

Great Defense gets the Buckeyes out of the jam.

9:57, Don’t look now, but the Buckeyes have two men on (thanks to back to back walks), and nobody out. Cory Kovanda is up to bat, and LETS GO BUCKS is being yelled everywhere. Girlie Man is oddly pensive at the moment. He’s channeling his inner Phil Jackson or something.

Kovanda lays down a sick bunt single. Thats just Bill Todd baseball right there sports fans. Bases jacked. Nobody out. All Stephens has to do is hit the ball. Chris says he will make fun of him in Communications if he doesn’t. Strack is hitting the showers. PARTY IN THE HAMBURGER BALCONY

10:02- Just so you know, May 31st, Curious George will be making an appearance at Huntington Park. No word on whether he’ll stop by the Hamburger Balcony. ,It is what it is.

Stephens with an RBI grounder. Tie game.

10:04-Dan Burkhart is getting intentionally walked to re-load the bases. Only in college baseball do you walk a guy to get to a .400 hitter. Madness.

Its Dew time sportsfans. Dew gets an RBI grounder, and the Buckeyes have taken the lead for the first time, 5-4. Runners on second and third. For a team with as much firepower as the Buckeyes, its weird to see them rely on little numblers. Miller has fouled off like 4 balls in a row. He’s battling.

10:09- Miller strikes out. 5-4 Bucks heading into the 8th. 1, 2, 3 goes Illinois. Engle rips an RBI single, and given Ohio State’s closer situation, I think its looking good that they’re getting a win!

Hurley is ruthlessly gunned down trying to get an inside the park home run, but you gotta applaud the effort. 7-4 Los Buckeyes!

Time for the ninth inning! I’ve been blogging for like 9 hours now. Eat your heart out Bill Simmons.

10:28 Lead off walk, then a rather dramatic strike out. The umpire was def doing his best impression of the ump in The Naked Gun. Yeeeeeeer OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTTTT

One out left, runner on second. Crowd on their feet. I would stand, but that would make typing difficult. It is what it is.

10:34 Heater down the pipe, hitting 93 mph. 0-1.

10:35 foul ball. Oh snap, its 0-2. The natives are getting restless.

10:36 awwwwwwww that was clooooooooosssse. Pretty anticlimatic moment there. 1-2.

10:37 another foul ball down the line.

10:38 Another laser beam foul ball. This one cleared the nets and maybe took out at least three fans who were talking on their cell phones.

10:39 Another ball, near the dirt. 2-2. Lets get this over with.

10:39 Another ball low, 81 mph. Full Count. Hale has a flair for the dramatic.

10:40 STRIKEOUT!!! The team mobs Hale, and the Buckeyes are in the winner’s bracket. Stay tuned for more updates and recaps. Until next time, I’m Matt Brown. Keep supporting the Buckeye Nine.

Hey guys, I’m live bloggin at the Big Ten Baseball Tournament today for my buddies at the Buckeye Nine Blog. Check it out at http://b9tourneycentral.blogspot.com/

I’ve been in a bit of a creative rut these past few weeks, and I couldn’t seem to figure out why. Maybe I’m still suffering from some sort of post-Obama hangover. Maybe my reservoir of sarcasm, which I previously thought was bottomless, has unexpectedly gone temporarily dry. Maybe I’m reading the wrong books. All I know is that I hadn’t written any funny (or really…anything of consequence that wasn’t for school) in weeks, and I needed to do something to shake things up. When all other creative muses failed, I went back to the old standby, exercise.

This isn’t really new. About half of these little notes over the last several months were conceived when I was slapping pavement somewhere. Because of all that running, my shoes are now very much physically falling apart. My heels are starting to look like dog’s tongues in the summer, flapping off the rest of the shoe in the wind. They provide almost no support, so I feel like Zydrunas Ilgauskas after playing back to back games in the morning.

I typically run with an iPod, in an effort to forget how many laps I’ve done, or how tired I am. At first, this system worked out great, but I’ve logged so many miles with it that I’ve developed an unfortunate habit of mouthing the words to the music. Now, if I’m running by myself, or if I’m listening to some instrumental music, its no biggie. But every once in a while, I stop paying attention to the music, only to think crap…I hope I wasn’t mouthing the words to Sexual Healing to that old woman I passed two miles ago. (aaaaand that’s why I can’t run on Lane Ave. anymore).

That wouldn’t be my first awkward running moment. I was running just about every day when I was living in DC last spring. One day, when the temperature finally started to heat up, I decided to go for a jog along the Potomac River without a shirt. The Potomac isn’t the cleanest river in some parts, and I remember absentmindedly scratching my back whenever I ran around a bend that attracted a lot of bugs. About 3 miles in, as I was making my return to my apartment, a fellow jogger came up behind me, gave me a big high five, and yelled “YEEAAAH BOY!”

It took me a few seconds before I understood what the heck he was talking about. At first, I kind of wanted to run up and explain myself. “no no, see, I haven’t actually had a date in three months. I was just itchy. It’s not what you think. Honest”….but you know what? I didn’t. Let him think he wants. (I put a shirt on after that though).

I never really developed that kind of relationship with other forms of exercise though, like weight training. Not that I haven’t tried. This idea of actually, you know, getting in shape has kind of been that green light at the end of the bay for me. The ritual happens about every year. In the winter, I’ll look at myself in the mirror, become a little disgusted, and declare that this time, no, I’m being totally serious here, I will get in shape. I will grow a muscle or two. I won’t run for the sake of running, I will try and run fast. I will stick to a totally sweet routine for maybe a month and then I will pretty much go back to what I was already doing.

Last year, I even kicked it up a notch. I got suckered into buying one of those plastic tubs of protein powder (in my defense, it did come with a free T-shirt, which means one more day I don’t have to do laundry. It says MAX MUSCLE on it, and I wear it around the apartment when I feel like being ironic).

At any rate, now seemed like just as good a time as any to get up and fail at getting in shape, so I decided that instead of running along the Olentangy, I ought to go down to the RPAC, Ohio State’s gigantic gym, to try and get the ol’ endorphins flowin/sculpt my guns (were you able to read that sentence without laughing? Cause I sure wasn’t able to type it with a straight face).

The RPAC is not just any university gym…it is truly a modern marvel, a wonder to behold. To provide a sense of reference to my non-Ohio State friends, picture the size of American University. The RPAC is roughly that big. It is over 4 stories of basketball courts, treadmill after treadmill, and a dizzying array of weightlifting devices that extends as far as the eye can see. Like the Amazon is the only home of millions of unique specifies of plants and animals, I suspect the RPAC is the only place on earth where certain kinds of exercise equipment lives. If you told me there is a pool in the basement JUST for Underwater Hockey, I would believe you.

I only know how to safely operate a tiny fraction of the machines in the RPAC. I hoped to do a quick rotation of those machines, hit the rowing machine for a few min, and then run back to my apartment without breaking anything important.

I sit down at one of the chest-press machines, turn up the ol’ ipod, and get to work. Naturally, no sooner do I start, than what looks like two guys from the OSU Defensive Line sit down on the machines next to me, and proceed to set their weights so large they require scientific notation. We exchange glances. They smirk a little. I smile weakly, and proceeded to struggle lifting up my body weight. Whatever. I bet I have a higher SAT score.

This process continues, as I move about the floor. I sit down at a machine, and Atlas/Dallas Lauderdale/Chuck Norris slides in next to me and silently judges. I tried to play it cool, as I did maybe my 6^th bicep curl, I looked to the guy next to me and grunted 1001…1002..1003..ARGH and set the weight down. The guy looks over at me.

“Hey. I don’t know if you were listening, but I did over 1000. Its boring, but you know, its part of my life”.

Nothing. Nobody in the RPAC had seen Anchorman. Screw you guys, I’m running some laps and going home.

And so the cycle continues I guess….I’m sure I’ll stick with it for a few more weeks, and then break will come, and I’ll get distracted, go to Taco Bell, and all my work will be lost. Oh well. At least I think I snapped out of one funk.

Hey all. Sorry I haven’t posted anything for a few days. I don’t know about Struhar, but after 25/7 election coverage, I wanted to unplug myself for a while from anything political (Plus, thanks to the wonders of Ohio State’s quarter system, I found a way to have 5 midterms in 2 weeks. I’m only taking 3 classes….)

So yeah. Between election hangover, a Spanish test every 6 hours, other writing commitments, and the start of basketball season (7-2 Cavs baby)…its been a slow few days here at the Newsdesk. That ought to change in the near future.

At any rate, I wanted to draw all of your attention to a website a buddy of mine forwarded to me. Its called Club Trillion (there is a link on the ol’ blogroll), and its kept up by three end-of-the-benchers for the Ohio State Men’s Basketball team.CT aims to shed a little light on the behind the scenes aspect of College Basketball. Its also hilarious. If you like Ohio State sports (and even if you don’t), I’d recomend checking it out.

More updates later

MB

I have quite a love/hate relationship with Ohio State. Their administration drives me crazy…because the school’s population is roughly that of Alaska, it takes forever to get anything done (do you have any idea how many Matt Brown’s there are??). Its often not very academically rigorous, and I’m stuck taking tons of general education classes that have nothing to do with what I want to study (I’m sorry, you can’t study Journalism this quarter, because your political science degree requires you to take Geological Sciences and Spanish).

However, for a few weekends in the fall, none of that matters….because there is nothing like a football Saturday in Columbus. This Saturday would be extra special, as the #3 Penn St was coming to town for a rare night game at the ol’ Horseshoe.

While some folks in our neighborhood started..ahem…”pregaming

Living in one of the nation’s premier “swing states” certainly has some drawbacks.  Our airwaves are so saturated with campaign ads that you can’t watch a baseball game for three seconds without being reminded that Barack Osama plays poker with pedophile terrorists and John McCain feasts on the flesh of the living. I can’t take more than a few steps outside of my apartment without being mobbed by a group of well meaning volunteers reminding me to vote (and could you maybe stop by the field office and do some data entry for a few hours?).  I can’t even read a national newspaper without seeing every tiny corner of my state overanalyzed into oblivion (Hank Smith, 51, of Van Wert, Ohio is hinting that he might vote for Obama. McCain camp in tailspin. Film at 11).

But it’s not all bad. Sometimes important people come to your town! Last cycle, I couldn’t drive to my neighborhood IGA without running over John Kerry (George Bush hung out here a lot too, but you couldn’t get in to see him without signing a loyalty oath to the GOP….so I didn’t go). This year, I’ve already been able to hear Obama, Biden, and every significant Democratic politician from Ohio (including my idol, John Glenn). But Monday, somebody came rolling into town far bigger than any of those names.

Yes. I’m talking about Bruce Springsteen. The Boss himself (sadly, sans his E St Band) was coming to the Oval at THE Ohio State University (a mere few blocks from my apartment) to give a free concert. Take THAT New York. Important people only show up there when they want money!

Me and my buddy Blake hurried to the concert spot early, as to avoid the throng that would surely come later. I had enough time to pick up a T-Shirt that had Obama and Springsteen on it…thus validating my brilliant idea a few posts ago (that Obama and Springsteen ought to run together). You think this is a blowout now, but with The Boss instead of Biden, we’re winning everything except Utah County.

But before Bruce could step out in front of the adoring masses and play Thunder Road, we had to listen to the lukewarm opening act of all celebrity-driven political rallies…the democratic under card. While I understand the political necessity of having various house and local candidates speak (No offense to David Robinson and Mary Jo Kilroy, who I’m sure are fine candidates…but they aren’t drawing 5,000+ on a Sunday), its still somewhat of an emotional buzzkill….watching obviously uncomfortable professionals stumble through jokes, talking points, and Springsteen related puns. I’d like to put out a standing offer to all my friends running for office…I will be happy to write jokes for you, free of charge. Don’t use your own material.

Personally, if I was running the whole show, I think I would have tried to grab an all-star OSU band or something, to warm up the crowd. Something with a name like John McCain and the Keating Five or maybe Charles Barkley and the Real Mavericks. Don’t even tell me that isn’t an awesome name for a band.

Finally, after introductions from everybody from the mayor of Columbus to candidates for Ohio State University Undergraduate Senate, the man, the myth, the legend, Bruce Springsteen, took the stage. And to think, not 24 hours ago, I was aimlessly tossing around a football at the very spot. If presidential elections inspire my musical idols to swing by my hometown, I wish we had presidential elections every year. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Bruce didn’t play a very long set…maybe just 6 songs, along with some talking after every number. I didn’t care, because I would have happily stood outside all day just to hear The Rising live (which he played) and Thunder Road (aka the finest song ever written). I was more than happy to listen to the Boss politely exhort us all to do a little more to help Obama get elected.

And then I felt a twinge of guilt. Outside of voting, and perhaps writing a pro-Obama facebook note every now and again, I really haven’t done a whole lot. I could certainly credibly claim a lack of time. I’m working two jobs, taking a full course load, and balancing a church calling, work with my fraternity, and basic hygienic functions. Obama campaign workers seem to want you to devote more than just a little bit of time, and I’m not sure I can give it, no matter how much I support the cause.

I also admit, I hate canvassing and cold callings. I did it once for a school levy, and I did it again as an LDS Missionary. I think only God could get me to knock doors again, and he would have to ask really nicely.

But there’s really another, bigger reason that I’ve somewhat kept my distance. Perhaps the biggest draw to Obama for anybody is his appeal to our sense of hope…he represents the idea of turning away from the negative attitudes we might have picked up over the last 8 years, or from politics as usual, and that craven cynicism that clouds over everybody who has ever watched more than 15 min of CSPAN.

I worry that if I got myself too deep into the nitty gritty of this race, I might lose some of that. I don’t want to say I’d lose my objectivity, because I never claimed to really be objective in the first place. I don’t write for the AP wire, or the BBC. I’ve picked a side, and I’ve been honest and upfront about that. Perhaps I’m worried about losing my independence. I guess if I get too deep into the logistics of the campaign, I’d lose my ability to criticize something I didn’t like. Not working for anybody gives me a lot more freedom. heck, if I wanted to, I could go off the reservation and endorse Chuck Baldwin, even though I’m pretty sure he’s issued a Fatwa against both Mormons and Latinos. Besides, if I started getting training for things like message control, I’m sure I’d lose my grip on this whole hope and change business.

But it’s difficult to explain any of that to the woman who’s working the Obama booth on 15^th and High, or at least not without getting a terrible case of Liberal Guilt (how can you make snarky comments when kids can’t read in Chicago???? You’re so selfish…you might as well be a…a….Republican!!!).

Oh well, I bet Bruce would understand. The Boss wouldn’t be the Boss if he was say, the Communications Director in the Obama White House. I know how it is…you can’t fence people like us in. Tramps like us….we’re born to run (sorry).