I Heard it Downtown » Columbus http://ihearditdtown.com Observations on life's most interesting things Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:17:31 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ en hourly 1 http://www.gravatar.com/blavatar/d5f59754d34b3af96d6e6cd11edad4be?s=96&d=http://s.wordpress.com/i/buttonw-com.png I Heard it Downtown » Columbus http://ihearditdtown.com For you guys who complain that I don’t write anything anymore… http://ihearditdtown.com/2009/05/22/for-you-guys-who-complain-that-i-dont-write-anything-anymore/ http://ihearditdtown.com/2009/05/22/for-you-guys-who-complain-that-i-dont-write-anything-anymore/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 03:06:51 +0000 Matt Brown http://ihearditdtown.com/2009/05/22/for-you-guys-who-complain-that-i-dont-write-anything-anymore/ ]]>

I give you, the full transcript of my liveblogging with my buddies at The Buckeye Nine Blog

Helping out with reporting today is Matt Brown, a Columbus writer who has contributed for the Newark Advocate and Columbus Monthly. He is also a senior at Ohio State.

COLUMBUS-1:30 PM- I’m just now starting my walk from my office downtown (I have a Clark Kent job there) towards swanky Huntington Park, home of the AAA Columbus Clippers. There isn’t a cloud in the sky, and its maybe 80 degrees, an absolutely perfect day to sit around and watch baseball. Its times like this that I actually feel sad that I’m moving away in a few weeks. Columbus really isn’t a bad town. The Arena District has two great stadiums, a great place to catch concerts, and several good bars and restaurants. The only thing that would make it better would be if the Crew Stadium was here instead of by the fairgrounds in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention the Short North, Campus, Clintonville, German Village…I’m telling you, upon further review, Columbus is underrated.

2:20 PM. Bottom 6th of the day game, with Purdue beating Michigan State 8-6. The Boilermakers end a possible rally with their second baseman making a leaping catch to steal a hit. I’m still kind of taken aback by the quality of the facilities here. This park might sit 10,000 people, and its brand new. There are luxury boxes, and bars…its just so big league. I’ve come a long way from covering JV Newark girls basketball, and getting splinters in the Northridge High Press box. I bet this place even has WiFi.

2:31 PM: Not only does this place have WiFi, it has like three different networks. I didn’t even get cell service at some of the high schools I covered. Michigan State is struggling with pitching control now. Top of the 7th, and the bases are loaded with two outs….so they’re making a pitching change (Tony Bucciferro). This game could get away from them in a hurry, since MSU isn’t exactly known for being able to make up runs in bunches.

2:34: Bucciferro gets the grounder, and out of the jam. The organ is playing Take me out to the ball game now, and there are so few people in the stands that I can’t actually hear the words. Okay, so maybe not everything is so different from my last sports reporting gig.

2:42, MSU goes down 1,2,3 in the bottom 7th frame. (LF) showed some good hustle trying to snag a fowl ball in the stands. It was a little bit easier considering that the entire section was empty. Jaffee up.

2:48 I get up for like, 5 min to try and get lineups and media guides for everybody, and naturally, miss Purdue’s Brandon Havemen knock in an RBI single, and then advance to second on a wild pitch. 9-6 Purdue. In unrelated news, whoever fills out the lineup card for Purdue has really bad handwriting. Somebody in their AD needs to start typing that stuff out. Just sayin’

2:49 Charles strikes out to end the top of the 8th.

2:57- Lost some more time trying to figure out this newfangled blogger software…ended up missing the first few batters of the inning. Eli Boike is batting for the Spartans, two ours, with a runner on third.

2:58 Boike came *THIS CLOSE* to absolutely crushing some hapless guy’s laptop off a foul ball. He then followed that up with smacking a sharp grounder up the middle that was mishandled by Purdue’s 1st basemen. Boike goes to second, runner scores. Shindler up. 9-7 Purdue.

3:00 Shindler flies out to end the inning. The Spartan faithful were getting pretty riled up over over what they perceived to be some questionable strike calls. For what its worth, this is def. a Spartan crowd…..(get it? Cause…like….there aren’t very many people here)

3:04 Cummins rips a single to start the 9th for Purdue. Black up.

3:05 Full count now on Cummins. Reason number #43 why I love Huntington Park so far….we have the Wendy’s Hamburger Balcony. Not quite sure what that means, but I like it.

3:07 Sparty mishandles a grounder from Black, but recover in time to get him out at first. Cummins to second.

3:13 I get up for a second again, getting back to my seat just in time to see Serrato rip a double to right center, scoring two runs for the Boilermakers. 2 outs, runner on second for Alex Jaffee. It is 11-7 Purdue.

3:14 Jaffee knocks a sharp grounder down the third base line that takes a high, funny bounce. It barely stays fair, giving him a double and an RBI. 12-7 Purdue.

3:18 I am loving Huntington Park, but now I think I’ve found my first flaw. That giant scoreboard is a little heavy on pizazz, and a little light on critical infomation. Maybe I’m just sitting in a bad spot, but from my seat, I can tell if Alex Jaffee remembered to brush his teeth on team picture day (he did!), but I have a harder time reading the pitch count. I also can’t really see who is pitching, and I’ve been all over the place during this game. I’m sure the UM/IU game will be a lot smoother.

Last chance for Sparty. Down 12-7 in the bottom of the ninth. Lets see how Purdue’s bullpen answers the call.

3:23Jeff Holm up for the Spartans. 1 out, runners on first and second. I gotta step away from the laptop though.

4:03-Naturally, the second I step away from the computer, MSU rips a double and makes it a 3 run game. I’ll just go ahead and give you guys advance notice that I have to step away from the computer, so you’ll know when something big is coming. It must be the Murphy’s Law of sports journalism. Purdue over Michigan State, 12-9.

I’ll work on getting a cleaner write-up soon. In the meantime, #3 seed Indiana and #2 seed Minnesota will be starting in a little bit. The ballpark is still mostly empty, but its defiantly starting to fill up. Chris was right, the Gopher fans do travel awfully well, for such a long trip.

4:17 Handran will get the start for the Gophers. IU’s lineup today is Lambert, Sabourin, Phegley, Dickerson, Schulz, Crawford, Gonzalez, Rogers and Dunning.

The Gophers Media guide tells me Handran is from Montana and likes camping. I like this guy. As soon as I type that though, he gives up a first pitch single.

4:21-Josh Phegley up for the Hoosiers with two on and nobody out (Sabourin was hit by a pitch). Biggest different between games so far? Noise. The Hoosier fans (and team for that matter) are pretty vocal. I don’t think I heard much of a peep from any of the MSU or Purdue players when they were on the field.

4:23 Actually, I take that back. I think all that yelling might be one Hoosier Mom. Phegley knocks a single up the middle. Runners on the corners for Alex Dickerson. 1-0 Indiana.

4:27, After a Dickerson strikeout, Schulz knocks in another runner with a single. 2-0 Hoosiers. Evan Crawford (Reynoldsburg represent!) is up for Indiana.

4:31, Handran settles down, strikes out Crawford and gets a pop out. 2-0 IU. Bashore hits the mound of Indiana. Minny will send out Nohelly, Pettersen, McCallum, Kvasnicka, Knudson, O’Shea, Decker, Gominsky and Geason.

4:40-I’m not the only one who is singing the praises of Huntington Park today. Purdue Head Coach Doug Schreiber raved about the area at the post game press conference. Coach Schreiber admitted he hadn’t been to the Arena District before, but said he was “very very impressed” with the facilities. “It’s been very well planned and organized, and the manpower has been unbelievable. I think its important that our kids get a chance to play at such a first class stadium and get treated first class”. His only complaint? When he sees a Purdue pitch knocked over the fence. “Then I wonder…is that fence too close?”

As for the game, runners on 1st and second for Minny, with two outs. Kyle Knudson at the plate.

4:44-A few more press conference notes for ya’ll. Schreiber was pleased with “how we hit the ball better. We were consistent in our scoring, even though we never really got that big inning. We left 15 men on base, and we’ll have to improve that.” Coach Boss of Michigan State admitted that the little by little scoring by Purdue really hurt his team’s chances today.

“We just couldn’t stop the bleeding early. They just kept chippin’ away, and before you know it, they’ve put 12 on the board.” Todd added, “We also walked 12 guys, and its tough to win when you do that.”

Minny grounds out to end the inning. Rodgers leading off for the Hoosiers.

4:50-Dunning leads off with a standup double, and is followed by a double by Lambert. 3-0 Indiana.

4:56 Indiana’s bats are really working today. They’ve strung four hits in a row now to take a 4-0 lead. Runners are on 3rd and 2nd…..wait, make that 6-0, since Dickerson’s sharp ground ball was mishandled and he turned it into a double. The Gophers better stop that bleeding quick.

5:00-Gophers do in fact stop the bleeding and get out of the inning. O’Shea is up for the Golden Gophers.

When asked how his tournament experience will impact his team next season, Coach Boss for Michigan State wanted to talk defense. “When you play well on defense, and when you make those routine plays, good things will happen. Today, we gave some things away, and those miscues are really magnified in the tournament. When you do the little things, you’ll be okay.” He then added, “However, despite those miscues, we gave ourselves a chance to win today. I’m really proud of our kids.”

5:06=The Gophers go down 1-2-3, and Gonzalez leads off with yet another double. I’m a little surprised to see the Minny pitching staff get shelled like this so early in the game, even though Indiana is quite a good hitting team.

5:15-quiet 3rd inning after the previous offensive explosion. Minny has yet to get a hit as we head into the top of the 4th. Even the random loud Indiana fan has taken a break. I think she was trying to do her best Dave Chappelle as Lil’ John impression. After every other pitch, I’d hear some “WHOOOOWWAHHHAAAT? OOOOKKAAAAY! YYEAAAH!” coming from section 9. I was half expecting a “GET CRUNK” at the end. It looks like she’s done though. Peace has been restored.

5:25 Gophers seem to be getting into a pitching grove, as they get out of the 4th without giving up a hit. I’ve walked out of the confines out the press box to watch the game from the open air area on the 3rd level. On one hand, its an absolutely awesome day, and I can get a *much* better view of the action. On the other hand, I have to live with the crushing fear that i might accidentally knock the laptop off this tiny desk and send it flying down a dozen rows of bleachers. Also, somebody just brought brownies to the press room.

5:39-Nick O’Shea breaks the offensive drought for the Gophers in the bottom of the 5th with a leadoff single. Eric Decker now batting.

Also, winner winner pasta dinner! Man, when I worked high school sports, a good night for me is when somebody bought an extra hot dog and gave it to the press guy out of pity. These guys have a full catered spread. Another reason to love this place.

5:46 Two outs now, but runners on the corners for Minny. DH Matt Nohelty is up, trying to make something happen.EDIT-aaaaaand he’s caught looking. To the 6th we go!

6:00 7-0 IU now, after some timely hitting. Gophers make a pitching change. Also, Chris Webb is in the house.

6:20 IU has really opened it up, taking a 9-0 lead. Looks like we’ll see Minny and Purdue tomorrow. The crowd is slowly starting to get bigger as OSU fans start to filer in. I was expecting a few more people. Maybe the ten dollar ticket prices are turning people away? I don’t know if I would pay ten dollars if I didn’t have a press pass.

7:18 Kinda turning in and out here. Indiana beats Minny 12-3. Minny was two hit until the 7th inning…wasn’t really close most of the way. The stands are really starting to full up now with the scarlet clad Buckeye faithful. Its too bad Explore Columbus didn’t get in on this, and give OSU Students a discount or anything. Coupla bucks, go see OSU, drink in the Arena District….I’m just sayin’.

The Buckeyes just took the field for stretching and warm ups, and the crowd goes wild. You gotta be excited for the guys playing today, stepping out onto such an awesome facility, getting this kind of crowd support…everybody likes playing under the lights.

7:52: Is it game time yet? I’m all hyped up ready for the game. I don’t know if thats the energy from the ballpark, or the fact that I’ve had about 4 free pops from the press box and I’m not sure where the bathroom is.

7:57- You know what would be really funny? There is some green space in deep center field…maybe, in a nod to the old Cooper Stadium, we can throw up some fake gravestones. Just a thought.

7:59- Chris- “Is there anything less helpful in coach speak than the phrase “It is what it is? Why did your pitching stink? Well…you know, it is what it is…”

8:01- So everybody just stood up, thinking we were going to sing the national anthem after player introductions…..surprise! We didn’t! It sure was good to get that first inning stretch in though.

8:04- And we’re off! Wimmers is lighting up the radar gun already, hitting 93, 94 MPH. Guess somebody is a little pumped up to play today. 1, 2, 3 goes Illinois.

8:12 Strack getting the ball for UI today. Kovanda is the first guy to get in the box score with a single up the middle. Stephens grounds into a double play though to tend the first.

8:17 Aaron Johnston strikes first blood with a monster 2 run shot to left field to give Illinois a 2-0 lead. That will prob land outside the 614.

8:23-Wimmers recovers to end the inning without any more damage. Meanwhile, the PA is blasting Bruce Springsteen’s Hungry Heart. I’m a *huge* Bruce fan, but is this really baseball pump up music? I don’t have an urge to get up and clap and scream now. Maybe sway…..

8:28 I was a few feet from maybe getting hit with a foul ball. Don’t worry, we’re all okay here.

8:30, Buckeyes get one back with a double from Arp (another Reynoldsburg Represent. Also, I want you guys to know that the guy next to me is screaming like a little girl every time the Buckeyes do something. He is at least 50. And I mean…seriously. Like a girl.

8:37-Does anybody know what the ball completely dies in the air when it gets hit into deep center here? I’ve seen several shots that were hit hard enough to get out of the park, but something in deep center just keeps the ball in play. Further research required.

8:49 Buckeyes get a double play thanks to some OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE (or just blocking the catcher from throwing a dude out). Also, I saw my first stadium O-H-I-O at a baseball. Its not saturday in the shoe, but it was still pretty impressive. This crowd is pretty quiet, but you can tell they’re into it as soon as some actual action happens. The guy next to me is still pretty much yelling 24/7 though.

Buckeyes are swinging at a lot of first pitches. They’re getting their hits, but they also have five first pitch outs. Some more patience at the plate will likely get them some better at bats. Only two batters have seen more than three pitches in their at bat! Thats not a good stat.

Top 5 coming up, UI up 2-1. That insight brought to you by Chris Webb

9:03, Bucks trying to get out of a jam after walking the first two batters…by striking out the next two. I’ve also just noticed that there are people everywhere here…in all of the stands, the restaurants, Neil ave…everywhere EXCEPT the AEP Power Pavilion. Not one person! I mean, there are even people in the Hamburger Balcony! Next time I work a game here, I’m reporting LIVE from the Power Pavilion, even though that prob isn’t actually in the stadium.

9:19 Johnson is on fire. He’s 3-3 with all three RBI (and Illinois only has 4 hits). Illinois now up 3-1 here in the 6th. This is becoming a tough inning…4-1. Bottom 6.

Big at bat here for the Buckeyes. Two on, nobody out for Ryan Dew. Did you know that Dew is the all time leading rusher at Worthington KIllborne? Now you do!

Dew eeks out an infield single. Everybody is safe now for Justin Miller. Bases Jacked, no outs, and the crowd is going nuts. Girl man is reaching a whole new level.

Miller gets a sac fly. Runners on the corners, 4-2. Arp gets an RBI line out…should have been a double play, but Illinois made a mental error. Another grounder ends the inning. 4-3. Not bad, not bad.

9:44 game might be getting away from Wimmers. He just gave up a double Good D prevented the run, but now he’s got 2 and 3 with only 1 out. (yup, and Wimmers is headed out of the game. 6 hits, 4 runs, 6 and a third)

Great Defense gets the Buckeyes out of the jam.

9:57, Don’t look now, but the Buckeyes have two men on (thanks to back to back walks), and nobody out. Cory Kovanda is up to bat, and LETS GO BUCKS is being yelled everywhere. Girlie Man is oddly pensive at the moment. He’s channeling his inner Phil Jackson or something.

Kovanda lays down a sick bunt single. Thats just Bill Todd baseball right there sports fans. Bases jacked. Nobody out. All Stephens has to do is hit the ball. Chris says he will make fun of him in Communications if he doesn’t. Strack is hitting the showers. PARTY IN THE HAMBURGER BALCONY

10:02- Just so you know, May 31st, Curious George will be making an appearance at Huntington Park. No word on whether he’ll stop by the Hamburger Balcony. ,It is what it is.

Stephens with an RBI grounder. Tie game.

10:04-Dan Burkhart is getting intentionally walked to re-load the bases. Only in college baseball do you walk a guy to get to a .400 hitter. Madness.

Its Dew time sportsfans. Dew gets an RBI grounder, and the Buckeyes have taken the lead for the first time, 5-4. Runners on second and third. For a team with as much firepower as the Buckeyes, its weird to see them rely on little numblers. Miller has fouled off like 4 balls in a row. He’s battling.

10:09- Miller strikes out. 5-4 Bucks heading into the 8th. 1, 2, 3 goes Illinois. Engle rips an RBI single, and given Ohio State’s closer situation, I think its looking good that they’re getting a win!

Hurley is ruthlessly gunned down trying to get an inside the park home run, but you gotta applaud the effort. 7-4 Los Buckeyes!

Time for the ninth inning! I’ve been blogging for like 9 hours now. Eat your heart out Bill Simmons.

10:28 Lead off walk, then a rather dramatic strike out. The umpire was def doing his best impression of the ump in The Naked Gun. Yeeeeeeer OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTTTT

One out left, runner on second. Crowd on their feet. I would stand, but that would make typing difficult. It is what it is.

10:34 Heater down the pipe, hitting 93 mph. 0-1.

10:35 foul ball. Oh snap, its 0-2. The natives are getting restless.

10:36 awwwwwwww that was clooooooooosssse. Pretty anticlimatic moment there. 1-2.

10:37 another foul ball down the line.

10:38 Another laser beam foul ball. This one cleared the nets and maybe took out at least three fans who were talking on their cell phones.

10:39 Another ball, near the dirt. 2-2. Lets get this over with.

10:39 Another ball low, 81 mph. Full Count. Hale has a flair for the dramatic.

10:40 STRIKEOUT!!! The team mobs Hale, and the Buckeyes are in the winner’s bracket. Stay tuned for more updates and recaps. Until next time, I’m Matt Brown. Keep supporting the Buckeye Nine.

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Why New Orleans? http://ihearditdtown.com/2009/03/05/why-new-orleans/ http://ihearditdtown.com/2009/03/05/why-new-orleans/#comments Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:46:56 +0000 Matt Brown http://ihearditdtown.com/2009/03/05/why-new-orleans/ ]]>

Today I emailed my boss with my new work schedule for spring quarter. I do this every 10 weeks or so, and it typically isn’t a very big deal. This email was very different, because at the end, it said May 22nd (aprox) will be my last day at the office. As you know, I have accepted a teaching position with Teach For America, and will be moving to New Orleans shortly after graduation. I’ll give you more details as the date gets closer.

Shortly, Outlook cheeringly announced that my boss had responded to me. She told me how happy she was for me, and how much the office would miss me. She then helpfully pointed out that I did not, in fact, study education in college. My professional background is in government service and writing. I don’t know anybody in the whole state of Louisiana, and never mentioned wanting to continue my studies there. So why then, she wondered, am I picking up my life and moving to New Orleans to teach elementary school?

This is a perfectly reasonable question, and one that deserves a better answer than the three sentence burst I typed out when I first got my acceptance letter. Before I can begin to answer that question though, let me tell you a story.

I’m not much of a crier. In the past 5 years or so, I think I’ve only cried three times. Once when my father passed away, once on my LDS Mission (I came pretty close in the 2007 ALCS though. No, I don’t want to talk about it. JD Drew can go to Hell, and CC Sabathia has man boobs).

I don’t think I’ve really talked about the other time I cried. It was early in my freshman year at American University. I was sitting at my desk, watching TV when CNN cut away to a new breaking news story. A hurricane unlike any in recent memory had just hit New Orleans. Whole neighborhoods were being washed off the face of the earth. I remembered reading about Hurricane Andrew (I was too young to actually remember it), and the destruction I was seeing on TV made those pictures I saw in National Geographic look like puddles after a rainstorm. The devastation was truly shocking…but it didn’t really hit me right then. I felt the appropriate amount of Liberal College Student Guilt, and then went on with my life.

But the story didn’t go away. After the storm stopped, all hell broke loose. The Superdome, once a symbol of American Commercial Greatness, was now a cesspool of filth. People were looting, families were trapped in toxic, washed out homes, and the impotence of the Federal Government was naked and on display to all the world. This was more than just a storm. The old band-aid covering many of our country’s social ills washed away too.

It finally hit me a few days after the initial hurricane. I was sitting all alone in the TDR, American’s dining hall, with my bagel, juice, and Washington Post. I read article after article detailing the suffering and chaos of the city….how the 9th Ward, home of some of the poorest inhabitants, had almost been wiped off the map. How local, state and federal aide agencies had failed in nearly every way. How developers were openly debating not to rebuild the city at all. It crushed me. I looked around to make sure nobody could see me, and let some teardrops fall all over my Post, turning Eugene Robinson’s picture into a big, pulpy mess.

Why did that impact me so strongly? I had never been to New Orleans, (I actually still haven’t been to New Orleans) but I felt a strong emotional connection to the city. I was a jazz and blues musician, and New Orleans is the capital of jazz. Not only that, but from what I had read, New Orleans valued and protected the Weird and the Unique. They sometimes played trombones at funerals! For a guy growing up in a Mormon household in blasé Columbus, New Orleans seemed to represent everything I wanted as a 19 year old. It became an almost rallying cry with some of my musician friends. One of these days man…we’re going to find us some fedoras, grab some gumbo, and head down to Naw’lins for a while. It just felt like my kind of town.

Now, it was under several feet of water, and starting to rot. It may have never been the place I had idealized in my head, but now I could see that with my own eyes. It wasn’t going to be the same again.

When I was filling out where I wanted to work for Teach For America, I tried to take a pretty analytical approach. My sister,her husband and newborn nephew now live near San Jose California, and I wanted in-state CA residence for possible grab school, so I selected the Bay Area. I used to live in Washington DC and loved it, so I put down DC. My mother lives in Madison, so I put down nearby Chicago, etc etc. With one exception, I based my preferences on things like proximity to family/loved ones, whether that state had a public university I wanted to attend, how familiar I was with the city, etc.

That exception was New Orleans. Teach For America apparently has a great need for teachers in the Greater New Orleans area, and that region was mentioned specifically in a lot of the literature they sent me. Every time I read it, I couldn’t help but think back to how I felt sitting in that cafeteria, reading. If I really believed in the ideals of TFA, and the capacity for good teachers to change people’s situations for the better, then I felt like I needed to put my money were my mouth was. Nobody needed help more than Naw’lins. I circled that bubble too.

I am very aware of what the challenges of that decision will be. I was lucky to attend a very good public school, and I understand that where I am going will be different in virtually every way. I understand, perhaps even a little bit better than some of my TFA peers, the limitations of my own abilities, and the sting of disappointment. This will unquestionably be the hardest thing I have ever done. It keeps me up at night sometimes.

And I know that those challenges extend far beyond what happens in my classroom. I know two people in New Orleans right now, and both are with TFA. My family members will literarily be in every opposite corner of the country. My Girlfriend’s friends have helpfully pointed out that my girlfriend does *not* live in New Orleans (approx. 912.07 miles, or a 16 hour drive away actually. Not that I checked or anything). I guess that’s what Skype and airplanes are for.

The challenges and hardships are daunting already, but that doesn’t make the goal unreachable, or a foolish endeavor. Teaching now gives me the chance to perform a critical service to children who badly need help, and in a city that I’ve wanted to love for years. I’ll be right in the heart of the biggest social science laboratories in history. I’ll be doing real, meaningful work that fits into my ideals and worldview at 22. How many other people get a chance to say that? It’s an adventure. It’s a blessing.

I didn’t write all of this back to my boss, but it’s why I’m going.

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Saturday In Columbus http://ihearditdtown.com/2008/10/26/saturday-in-columbus/ http://ihearditdtown.com/2008/10/26/saturday-in-columbus/#comments Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:48:42 +0000 Matt Brown http://ihearditdowntown.wordpress.com/?p=176 ]]>

I have quite a love/hate relationship with Ohio State. Their administration drives me crazy…because the school’s population is roughly that of Alaska, it takes forever to get anything done (do you have any idea how many Matt Brown’s there are??). Its often not very academically rigorous, and I’m stuck taking tons of general education classes that have nothing to do with what I want to study (I’m sorry, you can’t study Journalism this quarter, because your political science degree requires you to take Geological Sciences and Spanish).

However, for a few weekends in the fall, none of that matters….because there is nothing like a football Saturday in Columbus. This Saturday would be extra special, as the #3 Penn St was coming to town for a rare night game at the ol’ Horseshoe.

While some folks in our neighborhood started..ahem…”pregaming

” around 9 in the morning, my day didn’t really start until around 2, when I first left my “ESPN Lair” and poked around outside. It was perfect midwestern weather. The sky was blue, but also heavy with steely gray clouds. The trees that surround our streets were either exploding into orange and brown, or lay naked after doing so last week. There was a just enough of a breeze to make wearing a sweatshirt necessary…but not a parka. Everything made me want to grab a football, and run down 15th Ave, looking for somebody to tackle. I used my ol’ impulse control (have you seen me? I couldn’t tackle an 8th grader), and decided to head down Lane Ave, towards campus, to further survey the situation.

The Lane Ave party was in full force. Every other house or apartment building had dozens of scarlet-jersey clad party-goers out on the lawn…some lazily tossing footballs, others engaged in the Columbus tradition of cornhole (which is kind of a poor man’s version of horseshoes, only with beanbags), and others just pounding Natty Light. What was unusual to me is not that so many people were outside partying, but how many of them weren’t students. It wasn’t just freshman milling around, but their parents, and without a trace of irony! I lost track of the middle aged women I saw sipping cheap beer from red cups while 20 year old guys zipped footballs around them. I hope they’re all related….

As Lane moves from the off-campus hovels, and towards campus, the party becomes more and more organized. A mini festival, called “Hineygate” (no, I don’t know why either) is set up outside of a Holiday Inn, with a beer garden, live music, and all manner of fried foods. Here, nary a student can be found…the party is almost exclusively townies, alumni and “too old for college” folk, milling around drinking while a classic rock band butchers ACDC in the background. Not my scene.

Which is okay, because then it was about time to meet some guys and girls from APO for one of the coolest Ohio State rituals, the pre-game TBDBITL Skull Session Concert, at the venerable St.John Arena.

TBDBITL stands for The Best Damn Band In The Land, a title that the Ohio State Marching Band unquestionably holds (TBDBITL has yet to get blown out by an SEC team in a big game). A few hours before each home game, the band gives a free concert in the ol’ John, along with a top local high school band. I’m a Marching Band Guy at heart, so these concerts are always great for me. Whatever frustrations or misgivings I might have towards the university melt away when I’m arm in arm with my fraternity brothers (who, because I’m in APO, are almost exclusively pretty girls. Yeah, I know its weird), singing Carmen Ohio, our Alma Mater, and screaming like crazy for a Tuba Player. Ohio State’s offense may be vanilla and boring sometimes (ok, all the time), but their band is always something else.

The show ends, and we head up to the Horseshoe, Ohio State’s stadium, to watch our beloved Buckeyes. Even though I’m a Senior, I have terrible seats…about three rows from the very top of the 105,000 capacity stadium. We joke that we’re in a different zipcode up there. I don’t actually mind being that high up though…we can see the whole field fine, and we’re far away from the fatcat corporate sponsors who wouldn’t know what quarter we’re in, let alone clap and make some noise. The band finishes their pregame, and OSU and Penn St start to battle.

Despite having perhaps two of the most dynamic offensive players in the country in Pryor and Wells, Ohio State’s offense is well…offensive. Me and my buddy Sean compensate for the total lack of offensive production by getting disproportionately excited over routine Special Teams plays. Are we punting? We’re chest bumping. Are we in kickoff coverage? We jumping and screaming. Heaven help us when we actually kick a field goal…we’re jumping into rows of strangers, hugging and high fiving everybody in sight. We’re getting quite a following in our section…its hilarious, I promise. Why go for touchdowns when we can PUNT AND GET BACK ON SPECIAL TEAMS??!?!

OSU gives us…Special Teamers plenty to be excited about, taking a slim 6-3 lead into the 4th quarter. The game has been nearly devoid of highlight plays, so this exchange might have taken the cake…

Me: (after an OSU first down was overturned by the officials), I AM SICK OF THIS ACTIVIST REFS! Guys, we need to stop this legislating from the official’s box, and let the players play the way that God intended! WE NEED STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST REFEREES!!
Drunk Fan 1: *burps*
Drunk Fan 2: ….
Drunk Fan 3: ….FUCK PENN STATE!!!!

Yeah. Sometimes its hard.

Anyways, we’re all getting pretty excited in the 4th quarter, as we still have that slim three point lead, and we’re driving down the field, milking the clock. Suddenly, disaster strikes. Our prize quarterback fumbles the ball, and Penn St takes over at the OSU 35. A few min later, and Penn State suddenly ahas a 13-6 lead, with less than a min. left. I leave my fellow Buckeye fans, and head for my long walk home.

Could the Buckeyes mount a courageous comeback and win the game? Sure. But I’m an Ohio Sports fan, which means more heartbreak than normal people can stand (The Drive? The Fumble? 2006-2007 BCS Title Games? JOSE FREAKING MESA?? I gotta stop…I’m going to throw up). I lacked faith. My buddy Sean stayed, and I hit the pavement.

But as soon as I left the stadium, I could fear the roar of the crowd behind me. I ran to the nearest TV I could find, which was set up for some corporate tailgate party, to watch the last min or so. What happened? Allow me to switch my baseball cap and OSU jersey for a tweed jacket and poet’s cap…

Things did not look so hot
For the Buckeye 11 that day.
The score stood 13-6
with but 1 min left to play
and with Mo Well’s being awful
and Beanie turning up lame
the odds were just not that good
that OSU would win the game.

But suddenly Hartline made a catch
and Robiske did the same
and a long, chain moving run
was done by Brandon Saine.
The men in red were driving
and erasing all our doubts
that with 35 seconds we somehow
might find a way to pull this out

Now somewhere folks are happy
and pretty girls dance and sing
Somewhere folks laugh, and have a brew
and victory bells ring
Somewhere there is peace and joy
and nobody there is sick
but there is no joy in Columbus
Mighty Pryor thew a pick.

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