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The Future of I heard it downtown June 25, 2009

Posted by Matt Brown in Uncategorized.
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Fitting, perhaps, that this is the 100th post on wordpress. yay.

So you might have noticed that I haven’t updated in a little while. Actually, if you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, that isn’t a new thing. The reason for this is because I am currently at the Phoenix Institute for my new job teaching with Teach For America. I am working 13+ hour days, and I just don’t have time, with my other writing (and real life) commitments.

I am keeping a blog on my Teach For America experience, which i highly recommend you check out…after you tell all your friends about it. Please check it out at www.somedayallblogs.wordpress.com

My domain for this website expires in two months, and I haven’t totally decided what I’m going to do with it…take the money and buy the Someday All Blogs domain, reup, make a new random blog somewhere else….I dunno. I would happily solict ideas on what you think I ought to do with this space, or as a writer…whatever.

Until the domain expires, I’ll update this place every once in a while I think, but with shorter posts.

SAB gets updated AT LEAST every Wednesday and Saturday. I’ll see you there.

I want to like Sotomayor, but not just because she looks like my mom May 27, 2009

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Football season may be several months, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be some serious hard hitting in Washington over the next few weeks.

(I have to use a football metaphor because the Washington Nationals haven’t hit anything hard since they were playing in Canada)

Obama unveiled his pick to fill David Souter’s spot on the Supreme Court this morning, selecting US Federal Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Activists on the far right and far left immediately began to fire themselves up for an expensive, protracted battle. Ever since Robert Bork, supreme court confirmations have turned into political battles whose cost rival that of actual elections, and whose questioning that of Guantanamo Bay, minus the waterboarding.

No, actually, there will be waterboarding this time.

Anyway, on paper, you would think that this process should be fairly easy. Sotomayor is replacing another “liberal” justice, and doesn’t appear to be ideologically out of bounds. She has extensive judicial experience , graduated second at Princeton and went to Yale Law, so her qualifications shouldn’t be called into question. When you consider the fact that the Democrats have a zillion votes in the Senate, you would hope that this process should go by quickly.

(The only real allegation that has turned up so far is the idea that Sotomayor may not be as smart as the other justices. Even if thats true, is being “the least smart justice” that big of a deal? Thats like being the worst guy on the NBA All-Star team. Sure, you might not be Lebron James, but I’d still want Danny Granger on my team).

A few rouge Republicans might threaten a fillibuster, but if Harry Reid was smart, he would walk right up to Senator Sessions, hand him a phone book, and say “knock yourself out.”

Maybe Sessions can return the favor. If they’re both knocked out, the hearings go by quicker.

Whether that actually happens is unlikely, given the huge amount of money in the cottage industry of judicial appointments. We’ll prob get C-Span interrogations later in the summer/fall, which could make for semi-compelling television if you’re into that sort of thing. At any rate, you would think that getting a qualified, liberal justice would make somebody like happy, especially since Sotomayor happens to be Hispanic.

However, this process is raising all sorts of uncomfortable questions with me, that I think are a lot more important than the stupid crap Sotomayor will be grilled about on TV. I’m a little worried about the role of naked identity politics.

Sotomayor is certainly not stupid, and is certainly qualified to hold the job on her own merits…but you don’t have to be a Washington press wizard to know the most compelling reason for her selection….her “demographic appeal” as a woman and a hispanic.

I like the pick, I really do…but if you’re looking for a liberal intellectual heavyweight to do battle with Roberts and Scalia, there were better options, like Kagan or Wood (or I dunno, Posner). However, they weren’t as viable for political reasons…Sotomayor’s story and demographics basically making her invincible at confirmation.

The GOP is trying (or at least should be trying) to make inroads with the nation’s rapidly growing hispanic population. Can you imagine the terrible PR of white males in southern accents ripping her a new one? It would be a disaster, albeit compelling television if you’re into Schadenfreude. Obama isn’t stupid, thats why he made the pick.

And this bothers me a little bit, because I think it cheapens the professional accomplishments of Sotomayor, or minorities everywhere. It would be terrible for anybody to refer to her as some sort of AA justice, given her impressive resume, but by making such a naked play towards identity politics, you open that ugly door.

Its tricky though, because liking somebody because they look like you may not necessarily be bad. Studies have shown that having demographically similar role models can actually help minority groups feel more involved and connected to their society….even for highly educated people. I would consider myself highly knowledgeable about politics and whatnot, but i have to admit, I felt a little twinge of pride about Harry Reid…he shows that Mormon Democrats do exist.

Course, that pride tends to disappear when I remember that Reid has been a pretty crappy leader in the senate….but ya’ll dig right?

So its a tricky path. I like the pick, but I’m a little uncomfortable with the whole process, even though I think its important to help disadvantaged groups. I like Sotomayor, but I don’t want to like her because she looks like my mom.

But I doubt thats the kind of conversation we have in a few months though. It makes bad television.

Kinda like the Washington Nationals.

For you guys who complain that I don’t write anything anymore… May 22, 2009

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I give you, the full transcript of my liveblogging with my buddies at The Buckeye Nine Blog

Helping out with reporting today is Matt Brown, a Columbus writer who has contributed for the Newark Advocate and Columbus Monthly. He is also a senior at Ohio State.

COLUMBUS-1:30 PM- I’m just now starting my walk from my office downtown (I have a Clark Kent job there) towards swanky Huntington Park, home of the AAA Columbus Clippers. There isn’t a cloud in the sky, and its maybe 80 degrees, an absolutely perfect day to sit around and watch baseball. Its times like this that I actually feel sad that I’m moving away in a few weeks. Columbus really isn’t a bad town. The Arena District has two great stadiums, a great place to catch concerts, and several good bars and restaurants. The only thing that would make it better would be if the Crew Stadium was here instead of by the fairgrounds in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention the Short North, Campus, Clintonville, German Village…I’m telling you, upon further review, Columbus is underrated.

2:20 PM. Bottom 6th of the day game, with Purdue beating Michigan State 8-6. The Boilermakers end a possible rally with their second baseman making a leaping catch to steal a hit. I’m still kind of taken aback by the quality of the facilities here. This park might sit 10,000 people, and its brand new. There are luxury boxes, and bars…its just so big league. I’ve come a long way from covering JV Newark girls basketball, and getting splinters in the Northridge High Press box. I bet this place even has WiFi.

2:31 PM: Not only does this place have WiFi, it has like three different networks. I didn’t even get cell service at some of the high schools I covered. Michigan State is struggling with pitching control now. Top of the 7th, and the bases are loaded with two outs….so they’re making a pitching change (Tony Bucciferro). This game could get away from them in a hurry, since MSU isn’t exactly known for being able to make up runs in bunches.

2:34: Bucciferro gets the grounder, and out of the jam. The organ is playing Take me out to the ball game now, and there are so few people in the stands that I can’t actually hear the words. Okay, so maybe not everything is so different from my last sports reporting gig.

2:42, MSU goes down 1,2,3 in the bottom 7th frame. (LF) showed some good hustle trying to snag a fowl ball in the stands. It was a little bit easier considering that the entire section was empty. Jaffee up.

2:48 I get up for like, 5 min to try and get lineups and media guides for everybody, and naturally, miss Purdue’s Brandon Havemen knock in an RBI single, and then advance to second on a wild pitch. 9-6 Purdue. In unrelated news, whoever fills out the lineup card for Purdue has really bad handwriting. Somebody in their AD needs to start typing that stuff out. Just sayin’

2:49 Charles strikes out to end the top of the 8th.

2:57- Lost some more time trying to figure out this newfangled blogger software…ended up missing the first few batters of the inning. Eli Boike is batting for the Spartans, two ours, with a runner on third.

2:58 Boike came *THIS CLOSE* to absolutely crushing some hapless guy’s laptop off a foul ball. He then followed that up with smacking a sharp grounder up the middle that was mishandled by Purdue’s 1st basemen. Boike goes to second, runner scores. Shindler up. 9-7 Purdue.

3:00 Shindler flies out to end the inning. The Spartan faithful were getting pretty riled up over over what they perceived to be some questionable strike calls. For what its worth, this is def. a Spartan crowd…..(get it? Cause…like….there aren’t very many people here)

3:04 Cummins rips a single to start the 9th for Purdue. Black up.

3:05 Full count now on Cummins. Reason number #43 why I love Huntington Park so far….we have the Wendy’s Hamburger Balcony. Not quite sure what that means, but I like it.

3:07 Sparty mishandles a grounder from Black, but recover in time to get him out at first. Cummins to second.

3:13 I get up for a second again, getting back to my seat just in time to see Serrato rip a double to right center, scoring two runs for the Boilermakers. 2 outs, runner on second for Alex Jaffee. It is 11-7 Purdue.

3:14 Jaffee knocks a sharp grounder down the third base line that takes a high, funny bounce. It barely stays fair, giving him a double and an RBI. 12-7 Purdue.

3:18 I am loving Huntington Park, but now I think I’ve found my first flaw. That giant scoreboard is a little heavy on pizazz, and a little light on critical infomation. Maybe I’m just sitting in a bad spot, but from my seat, I can tell if Alex Jaffee remembered to brush his teeth on team picture day (he did!), but I have a harder time reading the pitch count. I also can’t really see who is pitching, and I’ve been all over the place during this game. I’m sure the UM/IU game will be a lot smoother.

Last chance for Sparty. Down 12-7 in the bottom of the ninth. Lets see how Purdue’s bullpen answers the call.

3:23Jeff Holm up for the Spartans. 1 out, runners on first and second. I gotta step away from the laptop though.

4:03-Naturally, the second I step away from the computer, MSU rips a double and makes it a 3 run game. I’ll just go ahead and give you guys advance notice that I have to step away from the computer, so you’ll know when something big is coming. It must be the Murphy’s Law of sports journalism. Purdue over Michigan State, 12-9.

I’ll work on getting a cleaner write-up soon. In the meantime, #3 seed Indiana and #2 seed Minnesota will be starting in a little bit. The ballpark is still mostly empty, but its defiantly starting to fill up. Chris was right, the Gopher fans do travel awfully well, for such a long trip.

4:17 Handran will get the start for the Gophers. IU’s lineup today is Lambert, Sabourin, Phegley, Dickerson, Schulz, Crawford, Gonzalez, Rogers and Dunning.

The Gophers Media guide tells me Handran is from Montana and likes camping. I like this guy. As soon as I type that though, he gives up a first pitch single.

4:21-Josh Phegley up for the Hoosiers with two on and nobody out (Sabourin was hit by a pitch). Biggest different between games so far? Noise. The Hoosier fans (and team for that matter) are pretty vocal. I don’t think I heard much of a peep from any of the MSU or Purdue players when they were on the field.

4:23 Actually, I take that back. I think all that yelling might be one Hoosier Mom. Phegley knocks a single up the middle. Runners on the corners for Alex Dickerson. 1-0 Indiana.

4:27, After a Dickerson strikeout, Schulz knocks in another runner with a single. 2-0 Hoosiers. Evan Crawford (Reynoldsburg represent!) is up for Indiana.

4:31, Handran settles down, strikes out Crawford and gets a pop out. 2-0 IU. Bashore hits the mound of Indiana. Minny will send out Nohelly, Pettersen, McCallum, Kvasnicka, Knudson, O’Shea, Decker, Gominsky and Geason.

4:40-I’m not the only one who is singing the praises of Huntington Park today. Purdue Head Coach Doug Schreiber raved about the area at the post game press conference. Coach Schreiber admitted he hadn’t been to the Arena District before, but said he was “very very impressed” with the facilities. “It’s been very well planned and organized, and the manpower has been unbelievable. I think its important that our kids get a chance to play at such a first class stadium and get treated first class”. His only complaint? When he sees a Purdue pitch knocked over the fence. “Then I wonder…is that fence too close?”

As for the game, runners on 1st and second for Minny, with two outs. Kyle Knudson at the plate.

4:44-A few more press conference notes for ya’ll. Schreiber was pleased with “how we hit the ball better. We were consistent in our scoring, even though we never really got that big inning. We left 15 men on base, and we’ll have to improve that.” Coach Boss of Michigan State admitted that the little by little scoring by Purdue really hurt his team’s chances today.

“We just couldn’t stop the bleeding early. They just kept chippin’ away, and before you know it, they’ve put 12 on the board.” Todd added, “We also walked 12 guys, and its tough to win when you do that.”

Minny grounds out to end the inning. Rodgers leading off for the Hoosiers.

4:50-Dunning leads off with a standup double, and is followed by a double by Lambert. 3-0 Indiana.

4:56 Indiana’s bats are really working today. They’ve strung four hits in a row now to take a 4-0 lead. Runners are on 3rd and 2nd…..wait, make that 6-0, since Dickerson’s sharp ground ball was mishandled and he turned it into a double. The Gophers better stop that bleeding quick.

5:00-Gophers do in fact stop the bleeding and get out of the inning. O’Shea is up for the Golden Gophers.

When asked how his tournament experience will impact his team next season, Coach Boss for Michigan State wanted to talk defense. “When you play well on defense, and when you make those routine plays, good things will happen. Today, we gave some things away, and those miscues are really magnified in the tournament. When you do the little things, you’ll be okay.” He then added, “However, despite those miscues, we gave ourselves a chance to win today. I’m really proud of our kids.”

5:06=The Gophers go down 1-2-3, and Gonzalez leads off with yet another double. I’m a little surprised to see the Minny pitching staff get shelled like this so early in the game, even though Indiana is quite a good hitting team.

5:15-quiet 3rd inning after the previous offensive explosion. Minny has yet to get a hit as we head into the top of the 4th. Even the random loud Indiana fan has taken a break. I think she was trying to do her best Dave Chappelle as Lil’ John impression. After every other pitch, I’d hear some “WHOOOOWWAHHHAAAT? OOOOKKAAAAY! YYEAAAH!” coming from section 9. I was half expecting a “GET CRUNK” at the end. It looks like she’s done though. Peace has been restored.

5:25 Gophers seem to be getting into a pitching grove, as they get out of the 4th without giving up a hit. I’ve walked out of the confines out the press box to watch the game from the open air area on the 3rd level. On one hand, its an absolutely awesome day, and I can get a *much* better view of the action. On the other hand, I have to live with the crushing fear that i might accidentally knock the laptop off this tiny desk and send it flying down a dozen rows of bleachers. Also, somebody just brought brownies to the press room.

5:39-Nick O’Shea breaks the offensive drought for the Gophers in the bottom of the 5th with a leadoff single. Eric Decker now batting.

Also, winner winner pasta dinner! Man, when I worked high school sports, a good night for me is when somebody bought an extra hot dog and gave it to the press guy out of pity. These guys have a full catered spread. Another reason to love this place.

5:46 Two outs now, but runners on the corners for Minny. DH Matt Nohelty is up, trying to make something happen.EDIT-aaaaaand he’s caught looking. To the 6th we go!

6:00 7-0 IU now, after some timely hitting. Gophers make a pitching change. Also, Chris Webb is in the house.

6:20 IU has really opened it up, taking a 9-0 lead. Looks like we’ll see Minny and Purdue tomorrow. The crowd is slowly starting to get bigger as OSU fans start to filer in. I was expecting a few more people. Maybe the ten dollar ticket prices are turning people away? I don’t know if I would pay ten dollars if I didn’t have a press pass.

7:18 Kinda turning in and out here. Indiana beats Minny 12-3. Minny was two hit until the 7th inning…wasn’t really close most of the way. The stands are really starting to full up now with the scarlet clad Buckeye faithful. Its too bad Explore Columbus didn’t get in on this, and give OSU Students a discount or anything. Coupla bucks, go see OSU, drink in the Arena District….I’m just sayin’.

The Buckeyes just took the field for stretching and warm ups, and the crowd goes wild. You gotta be excited for the guys playing today, stepping out onto such an awesome facility, getting this kind of crowd support…everybody likes playing under the lights.

7:52: Is it game time yet? I’m all hyped up ready for the game. I don’t know if thats the energy from the ballpark, or the fact that I’ve had about 4 free pops from the press box and I’m not sure where the bathroom is.

7:57- You know what would be really funny? There is some green space in deep center field…maybe, in a nod to the old Cooper Stadium, we can throw up some fake gravestones. Just a thought.

7:59- Chris- “Is there anything less helpful in coach speak than the phrase “It is what it is? Why did your pitching stink? Well…you know, it is what it is…”

8:01- So everybody just stood up, thinking we were going to sing the national anthem after player introductions…..surprise! We didn’t! It sure was good to get that first inning stretch in though.

8:04- And we’re off! Wimmers is lighting up the radar gun already, hitting 93, 94 MPH. Guess somebody is a little pumped up to play today. 1, 2, 3 goes Illinois.

8:12 Strack getting the ball for UI today. Kovanda is the first guy to get in the box score with a single up the middle. Stephens grounds into a double play though to tend the first.

8:17 Aaron Johnston strikes first blood with a monster 2 run shot to left field to give Illinois a 2-0 lead. That will prob land outside the 614.

8:23-Wimmers recovers to end the inning without any more damage. Meanwhile, the PA is blasting Bruce Springsteen’s Hungry Heart. I’m a *huge* Bruce fan, but is this really baseball pump up music? I don’t have an urge to get up and clap and scream now. Maybe sway…..

8:28 I was a few feet from maybe getting hit with a foul ball. Don’t worry, we’re all okay here.

8:30, Buckeyes get one back with a double from Arp (another Reynoldsburg Represent. Also, I want you guys to know that the guy next to me is screaming like a little girl every time the Buckeyes do something. He is at least 50. And I mean…seriously. Like a girl.

8:37-Does anybody know what the ball completely dies in the air when it gets hit into deep center here? I’ve seen several shots that were hit hard enough to get out of the park, but something in deep center just keeps the ball in play. Further research required.

8:49 Buckeyes get a double play thanks to some OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE (or just blocking the catcher from throwing a dude out). Also, I saw my first stadium O-H-I-O at a baseball. Its not saturday in the shoe, but it was still pretty impressive. This crowd is pretty quiet, but you can tell they’re into it as soon as some actual action happens. The guy next to me is still pretty much yelling 24/7 though.

Buckeyes are swinging at a lot of first pitches. They’re getting their hits, but they also have five first pitch outs. Some more patience at the plate will likely get them some better at bats. Only two batters have seen more than three pitches in their at bat! Thats not a good stat.

Top 5 coming up, UI up 2-1. That insight brought to you by Chris Webb

9:03, Bucks trying to get out of a jam after walking the first two batters…by striking out the next two. I’ve also just noticed that there are people everywhere here…in all of the stands, the restaurants, Neil ave…everywhere EXCEPT the AEP Power Pavilion. Not one person! I mean, there are even people in the Hamburger Balcony! Next time I work a game here, I’m reporting LIVE from the Power Pavilion, even though that prob isn’t actually in the stadium.

9:19 Johnson is on fire. He’s 3-3 with all three RBI (and Illinois only has 4 hits). Illinois now up 3-1 here in the 6th. This is becoming a tough inning…4-1. Bottom 6.

Big at bat here for the Buckeyes. Two on, nobody out for Ryan Dew. Did you know that Dew is the all time leading rusher at Worthington KIllborne? Now you do!

Dew eeks out an infield single. Everybody is safe now for Justin Miller. Bases Jacked, no outs, and the crowd is going nuts. Girl man is reaching a whole new level.

Miller gets a sac fly. Runners on the corners, 4-2. Arp gets an RBI line out…should have been a double play, but Illinois made a mental error. Another grounder ends the inning. 4-3. Not bad, not bad.

9:44 game might be getting away from Wimmers. He just gave up a double Good D prevented the run, but now he’s got 2 and 3 with only 1 out. (yup, and Wimmers is headed out of the game. 6 hits, 4 runs, 6 and a third)

Great Defense gets the Buckeyes out of the jam.

9:57, Don’t look now, but the Buckeyes have two men on (thanks to back to back walks), and nobody out. Cory Kovanda is up to bat, and LETS GO BUCKS is being yelled everywhere. Girlie Man is oddly pensive at the moment. He’s channeling his inner Phil Jackson or something.

Kovanda lays down a sick bunt single. Thats just Bill Todd baseball right there sports fans. Bases jacked. Nobody out. All Stephens has to do is hit the ball. Chris says he will make fun of him in Communications if he doesn’t. Strack is hitting the showers. PARTY IN THE HAMBURGER BALCONY

10:02- Just so you know, May 31st, Curious George will be making an appearance at Huntington Park. No word on whether he’ll stop by the Hamburger Balcony. ,It is what it is.

Stephens with an RBI grounder. Tie game.

10:04-Dan Burkhart is getting intentionally walked to re-load the bases. Only in college baseball do you walk a guy to get to a .400 hitter. Madness.

Its Dew time sportsfans. Dew gets an RBI grounder, and the Buckeyes have taken the lead for the first time, 5-4. Runners on second and third. For a team with as much firepower as the Buckeyes, its weird to see them rely on little numblers. Miller has fouled off like 4 balls in a row. He’s battling.

10:09- Miller strikes out. 5-4 Bucks heading into the 8th. 1, 2, 3 goes Illinois. Engle rips an RBI single, and given Ohio State’s closer situation, I think its looking good that they’re getting a win!

Hurley is ruthlessly gunned down trying to get an inside the park home run, but you gotta applaud the effort. 7-4 Los Buckeyes!

Time for the ninth inning! I’ve been blogging for like 9 hours now. Eat your heart out Bill Simmons.

10:28 Lead off walk, then a rather dramatic strike out. The umpire was def doing his best impression of the ump in The Naked Gun. Yeeeeeeer OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTTTT

One out left, runner on second. Crowd on their feet. I would stand, but that would make typing difficult. It is what it is.

10:34 Heater down the pipe, hitting 93 mph. 0-1.

10:35 foul ball. Oh snap, its 0-2. The natives are getting restless.

10:36 awwwwwwww that was clooooooooosssse. Pretty anticlimatic moment there. 1-2.

10:37 another foul ball down the line.

10:38 Another laser beam foul ball. This one cleared the nets and maybe took out at least three fans who were talking on their cell phones.

10:39 Another ball, near the dirt. 2-2. Lets get this over with.

10:39 Another ball low, 81 mph. Full Count. Hale has a flair for the dramatic.

10:40 STRIKEOUT!!! The team mobs Hale, and the Buckeyes are in the winner’s bracket. Stay tuned for more updates and recaps. Until next time, I’m Matt Brown. Keep supporting the Buckeye Nine.

Party Poopers April 29, 2009

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So I meant to write this yesterday, but I was pretty looped up on drugs. Not hallucinogenics or anything, just plain ol’ off the counter cold meds. I’ve been battling a mild cold ( or, as a co-worker assumed, Swine Flu. Look. Not every latin guy who sneezes is carrying the swine flu), and I thought I could go save a few bucks by getting the Kroger brand cold meds instead of the label. Turns out, Kroger Cold Medicine is a concoction of tryptophan and elephant tranquilizers. I was NOT qualified to operate heavy machinery. Hell, I wasn’t qualified to operate a stapler (This is why I need an intern at work).

I took a quick break from work to scan some headlines, in a futile attempt to remain conscious. Thats when I stumbled upon the big political bombshell…Senator Arlen Spector of Pennsylvania announced he was leaving the Republican Party, and switching to the Democrats, giving the D’s a filibuster-proof 60 seat majority. Or at least, they will once Norm Coleman runs out of continues and gives up his legal challenge.

So I tried to do some serious, Hunter S.Thompson style gonzo journalism, and type something up while loopy on whatever Kroger moonshine I had ingested. No luck. No scathing insights arrived in my head. I just wanted to sleep. No, I wanted to HIBERNATE. When the going gets weird, the weird go pro I guess….and I should leave that stuff to the pros.

So maybe sobriety will deliver some insight.

First, one thing needs to be made clear before we can dig deep into the analysis. Arlen Specter left the Republican party because he was about to get clownstomped by Pat Toomey in the Republican primary…not because of any high minded idealism. Polling showed Specter down 20% to Toomey, but in a general, Specter wins by double digits. If that wasn’t the case, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Biden et all have been working on this guy for years, and Specter even said a few months ago he wasn’t interested in switching parties.

Now, is that a bad thing? We might look at Specter and call him a cold, calculating, spineless Politician, and maybe thats true….but clearly the people of Pennsylvania see something in him, because they have reelected him so many times, and given the opportunity, will prob do so again. Many Republicans feel betrayed by the switch (and I guess I can understand why. I would have been a little upset when Ben Nighthorse Cambell switched to the Republicans…or I would have been, if I wasn’t 6)…does Specter have an obligation to them, or just his constituents, the people of the Keystone state? While I think its kind of a jerk move to announce this just a few weeks after the RNC says they’ll support him over Toomey, I think its hard to argue that Specter doesn’t have the right to do this.

I don’t know too much about Pennsylvania. Off the top of my head, here is a brief list I came up with:
1) No matter where you are driving, you will be stuck in Pennsylvania for about 4 hours.
2) Penn State’s football coach once pooped his pants on the sidelines
3) The state’s demographics are rapidly changing. Over 200,000 voters switched their registration to the democrats.

All of those are true. Look ‘em up. The 3rd one I think speaks to the bigger issue that I’ve alluded to in a couple of these notes.

When Toomey wins by 20% in the GOP primary, but loses by 10% in the general to the same guy, you have a problem. When you lose 200,000 people in the voter rolls, you have a problem. When people are openly betting on when Oympia Snowe jumps ship with Spector, you have a problem. Letting your party be hijacked by radical activists at the expense of people who are actually electable is a problem. Not just for Republicans, but for anybody who likes good government.

I’m personally okay with Specter being a Dem, because a Democrat Specter is likely to vote the way that I would personally vote…as a somewhat conservative Democrat. When we’re looking at 60 (and after 2010, 60+) Dems in the senate, I start to worry a little bit…because then there is no check on bad ideas. Even though those 60 Democrats run across a very large political spectrum (from Ben Nelson, who is practically a Republican, to Sanders, who is a European Socialist), letting one group amass that kind of power typically leads to a circular firing squad, wasted money, and bad ideas. We need a loyal opposition that is capable of actually being a coherent opposition…not this mess.

Right now, I guess Specter is being a bit of a Party Pooper. You have to wonder if others will follow suit, or if the guys in charge will finally get the message. Anybody can see the dangers of prolonged one party domination.

Even if you’re hopped up on cold meds.

Poems are one of the good things about America April 12, 2009

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Easter weekend typically means a mass exodus from campus. By the time I awoke this morning, my roommate, most of my friends, and my girlfriend were all out of town…and my family was still very much scattered across the country. It looked like I was going to be in charge of my own fun tonight.

I went strolling down high street in the afternoon, and stumbled across a bookstore/coffeeshop place that I had been meaning to check out. On a lark, I walked inside, poked around for a bit, bought a book (How Soccer Explains the World for 6 bucks. I both enjoy soccer *and* the world, so I figured it was a pretty solid investment), read for a little bit on one of their comfy couches, and then decided to head back home. On my way out, I noticed a poster on the door, advertising the release party for a book called “The Good Things About America”. I had never been to any kind of poetry or prose reading event before, and my alternative plans for the evening involved drinking all the Gatoraid in my fridge and playing NBA Live 08 all night…so I decided I’d come back in a few hours and check it out.

I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Despite being a writer, I’m not really the most “literary” figure in my family (that title goes to my younger sister, who is rapidly becoming a renowned poet in Madison, Wisconsin). I write mostly political commentary, non-fiction and sportswriting. I haven’t really attempted a poem since 8th grade (I wrote a 3 page epic poem called The Great Panda Problem, detailing a group of Panda’s escape from the Zoo, and subsequent takeover of the world. It won “best poem” that year. I decided to retire at the top of my game). Am I even allowed to go to things like this?

My feelings of nervousness didn’t really go away when I first walked in to the coffeeshop. People were wearing fedoras, chuck taylors and double breasted shirts. I looked down to see what I was wearing. I had a blue t-shirt that said COLLEGE (a la Animal House), and brown flip flops. I had gotten my hair cut that day, and still had the gel in my hair. I stuck out like a white guy at Live at the Apollo. What killed me is that I actually own a fedora. I wanted to shout “No, this isn’t what it looks like. I’m really one of you people! Let me get my hat and we can talk about books!”

But was I?

The room quickly filled up, and I found myself sitting in a group of hipsters. The reading began with a few songs from a stripped down rock band. People were in the crowd were laughing and chatting with each other during the songs. I got the impression that most people here knew each other from somewhere else…somewhere else in this scene, which made me feel a little more self conscious. I vaguely entertained thoughts of leaving, but I would have had to crawl over 20 people to get to the door, and dammit, I walked all this way to hear some poems about America.

After a few songs, the band left the makeshift stage, and a tall fellow stepped up the mic. He introduced himself as the editor of the book. He told us that in his travels, he’d hear lots of poets writing about America, but usually in the context of America sucking. Our president is stupid, our foreign policy is unjust, we’re killing the planet, blah blah blah. Quite frankly, it was starting to bring him down. Sure, America has lots of problems, but why do we only have to write about the bad stuff? He called up some of his fellow poets from across the country, asked them to write about the *good* things, and published the book.

As somebody who writes about politics regularly, and also hangs out in a fairly left-leaning crowd most of the time, I think its critical to read stuff like this sometimes. Writing about politics (or even paying attention to politics) can be a major drag sometimes…people can be self-serving and corrupt….it can bring out the most banal and disappointing aspects of our personalities. It can be scary and hateful and sad and make you question why you even bother.

And then you remember…its because I Really Like America. I would even go so far as to say America kicks ass.

Many of the poets featured in the book journeyed to Columbus for the reading…some from Boston, New York, Oklahoma, and others. They talked about families, love, their hometowns,Elections and Heroes, their favorite cities, and the American Experience. My heart filled with pride.

Many of the poems (and the poets) were exceptionally witty and smart, and I found myself laughing and joking with my seatmates. I felt myself becoming a little more comfortable after every poem, after every story, and after every mutually enjoyed pun. One poet, after reading, crumpled up his manuscript into a ball, and tossed it into the crowd. Audience members fought for it like fans might jostle for a foul ball at a baseball game. I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe these are my people after all. I left the reading without any shred of self-consciousness.

The readers were far more diverse than my initial “poet” stereotype had allowed for. There was an older gentleman from southern ohio who read stories from his dark (but also oddly hilarious) book about a fictional town in Ross County. There was a woman who lived in ultra-conservative Oklahoma, whose mother kept a cardboard cutout of Barack Obama in her kitchen (after the last 8 years…I just need to see his face every morning she said. Apparently she hasn’t been able to find a cardboard Michelle yet). Folks from all over the country, from all different backgrounds and with different life experiences read and shared.

I ended up buying the book, making it the first poetry book to grace my bookshelf. I walked out of the reading feeling completely refreshed and rejuvenated. I am prob. not able to write like they can. My writing is like bread, and their poems, like an expensive wine. Its perfectly fine to write bread….after all, everybody eats bread. But Jesus was on to something when he said that man cannot live on bread alone. Sometimes you need a sip of something more complicated to refresh your pallet.

They’re in ur government, legalizin’ ur gheys April 9, 2009

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I was sitting in Wendy’s two nights ago, trying to eat my chicken sandwich in piece, but the TV was distracting me. It was turned to MSNBC, and some commentator had a few talking heads on to discuss the recent developments in Iowa and Vermont, two states that recently made gay marriage legal. The commentator breathlessly said that “now is the time for a national discussion about gay marriage”.

You know what? I agree. But to save time, I’m just going to go ahead and do all the talking. Hope thats okay with you guys.

Q: These arrogant activist judges! Who do they think they are, striking down legislation that is clearly the will of the people?
A: Uh…maybe they think they’re judges? Isn’t that the entire concept of Judicial Review? Populists might clamor that this is elitist…and they’re right. Parts of our government were established to be a check on popular sentiment. If “just being popular” is enough of a reason for laws to escape judicial review, whats the point of having a judiciary? That “judicial activism” gave us Brown v Board of Education and Baker V Carr.

Plus, if we define “judicial activism” as “the supreme court voting to overturn a ruling”, then the Conservative wing is more likely to be activist. I’d like to suggest another definition of “Activist Judges”….”When judges make a decision that I disagree with”.

Seriously. How many people who are mad at the Iowa Supreme Court are basing their arguments on their knowledge of the Constitution of Iowa?

Q: Legalizing gay marriage and civil unions will doubtless start us on a slippery slope towards legalizing polygamy, pedophilia, animal marriages, and marrying Janet Reno.
A: I beg to differ. Animals and children cannot consent, so they cannot be married. Full stop. The United States doesn’t have the legal tradition of some place like Pakistan, where marrying off 11 year olds seems to be okay (and, oddly enough, Pakistan doesn’t allow gay marriage). Gay Marriage/Civil Unions, an agreement between two, consenting adults, is not analogous to any of the other aforementioned acts.

Polygamy may involve contenting parties (maybe, some sociological research on how relationships work on polygamous compounds might beg to differ), but its pretty easy to justify denying some legal benefits to multiple parties, as it would be easy to set up “families” as tax sheltering devices. The boondoggle dividing up benefits after a polygamous divorce might be a boon to lawyers, but it would be a huge hassle for our courts as well.

Besides, take it from a Mormon, polygamy ain’t worth it. Last time we tried that, mobs kidnapped and killed our leader, drove us from our perfectly good town in Illinois, drove us across the wilderness, and forced to settle in Utah. Gross. Where would the mobs send you if you tried to be polygamous now? Alaska, to live in Sarah Palin’s kingdom? (I can see this….polygamous families welcome in Alaska, so long as every child gets an assault rife, and has a stupid name. . Hi, these are my wives Kara, Lisa and Emily…and our children; Tuscaloosa, Microwave and Battlestar Galatica)

Q: I don’t want a gay marriage.
A: I am unaware of any judicial ruling or legislative act requiring anybody to get one.

Q: Allowing Gay Marriage will threaten the institution of marriage.
A: I hear this one a lot, and I have yet to really get a satisfactoy answer from anybody, be they commentator, ecclesiastical authority, or anybody else as to exactly why that is. Lets say that we believe that Marriage is a unique institution specifically created for a Man and a Woman, and that any other union should go by a different name. Okay, lets call the other one’s civil unions, and let them have the same benefits. Is that okay?

Many who oppose GM also oppose that idea, and I’m exactly sure why. Knowing that dudes are holding hands somewhere in San Fransisco doesn’t in any way cheapen or damage the wonderful (heterosexual) relationship I have now. When I’m out with my girlfriend…I’m not thinking about gay people. Like…ever. If you are, well…I’m no Dr.Phil, but I suspect your relationship may have other issues.

Is  Marriage under attack? Sure, I believe that, but not by the gays. Divorce rates are high, and there are lots of possible culprits. Financial insecurity/worries have damaged lots of relationships. Pornography certainly has. Poor communication, infidelity, health problems….I can think of lots of things that might be contributing to marriages breaking down. *That* is a very important topic that we *should* have a national conversation about. The Nuclear Family is an institution worth defending.

But Gays? How often do you think this happens?
Honey, I know we’ve been married for 10 years, and I know we loved each other. But Iowa just legalized Gay Marriage, and I really think I should use that opportunity to take my Bro-mance with Chad to a new level. Before, it was just our weekly poker game and phone calls about fantasy baseball. Now….we can share Social Security. I just think its a better deal.

Really? I doubt it.

Q: Homosexuality is clearly a sin, and as such, we should oppose GM/CU
A: Personally, I think Theology doesn’t really enter into it. My own theological views on homosexuality are kind of moot as far as the debate over hospital visitation rights and pension sharing is concerned. My religious faith also teaches me to abstain from the consumption of alcohol and coffee, but it would be wrong to try and force that on everybody, no?

There is not a legal reason to think that allowing Civil Unions would require churches to marry gay people if they didn’t want to. Certainly, if there was, I would vigorously oppose it. Churches should have the freedom to marry/allow in whoever they want…but there is no credible reason to think that that would change. If somebody says otherwise in church, they are not speaking out of any understanding of the law.

At the end of the day, I may have my own theological belief about homosexuality, but why should that mean that gay people shouldn’t have hospital visitation rights?

Q: Thats about all I can think of.
A: Me too. Good talk.

Blue in the Spring March 20, 2009

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One of my creative writing professors joked that when she taught her creative non fiction class in the spring, everybody wrote essays on sex. When she taught it in the winter, everybody wrote about death.

Not knowing this beforehand, I stupidly took her class during the winter. She wasn’t kidding.

I can certainly understand why. Its easy for death to be on the mind during a Columbus Winter, when you drudge around everywhere surrounded by dead plants, and students so cold they perhaps wished they were dead.

But my mind continued to linger on the subject even after the sun began to make special guest appearances, and the temperatures began to flirt with the 50s. Two of my friends at my old school recently lost their fathers, my church congregation lost a member, and my father’s birthday was quickly approaching. My dad died in September of 2006.

I can still remember most of the funeral. The church was at full capacity, packed with friends, family, and dozens of people who I didn’t know at all. I was completely emotionally overwhelmed. I hadn’t begun to make sense of my grief, and only just barely wrapped my head around the magnitude of the situation. To make matters more confusing, I was in the middle of my LDS mission…so there I was, nametag and all, trying to maintain some facade of emotional stoicism.

Nobody really knows what to say at a funeral, but everybody wants to help. I remember scores of well intentioned people coming up to me, giving me hugs, and saying it’ll be okay.

I didn’t know it at the time, but now I’m pretty convinced that just isn’t true. When you lose a parent, especially when you’re still young, I’m not sure its ever okay.

Sure, the intensity of the situation wanes over time. I no longer have the urge to cry whenever Van Morrison starts playing on the radio. I’m able to watch a baseball game without falling apart, even if the Yankees are playing (I still hate ‘em though. Sorry dad). I think I’m naturally a pretty upbeat guy, and this tragedy hasn’t changed that.

But I think the word “okay” seems to imply some sort of return to a previous, injury free state, and that is impossible. I think about my dad nearly every day, and I’m finding that I miss him in new, powerful ways the older I get. My dad will never see me graduate college, never saw me land my first “grown up” job, and won’t see my wedding (or for that matter, even meet anybody I date). He never got to hold Miles, who would have been his first Grandbaby. These are new, powerful hurts that didn’t occur to me when I was a confused nametag-totting 19 year old, but I’m starting to understand now.

I don’t just miss my dad because he will be absent for the rest of my life milestones. My dad was an artist, and the very genesis of my creative ability. I developed a passion for blues and soul music from rummaging through his CD collection. His was a voracious reader, a poet and a writer. I am only now just starting to understand a tiny bit of what he knew. I would give anything to have a few more min with him, if only to discuss music and writing. I didn’t publish my first piece until April of 2007. He never saw it.

It isn’t just sorrow and loss that I feel now though. Death has a way of fundamentally rearranging your priorities and perspective. Death is a crushing reminder of our own fragile mortality. We’re not indestructible, not even when we’re teenagers and know everything. It is a reminder that life is too short to hate, to hold grudges, to remain heartbroken or to be bitter ( and life is also too short to *not* experience those things, because that’s what makes us alive). We don’t want our last interaction with a loved one to be negative.

It can be difficult to reconcile everything. The bleeding may stop, and the cut may heal, but I think I’ll always have a little scar somewhere. I think that’s how it goes. As time goes on, I guess you just learn to reconcile those painful longing feelings with the right perspective. I’ll always miss my old man, and there may be times when I might really need him…but life is too short to be permanently attached to a memory (and one that is likely distorted). My dad certainly wouldn’t want me to mope forever…he’d want me to be happy (and if he saw me moping, he’d prob call me a stinkin’ alcoholic and fart really loud to try and snap me out of it. Larry, Curly and Moe had nothing on my old man)

So you keep struggling with that, and move on from there. Somedays are easier than others…but I don’t think its ever, 100% “Okay”.

Not even in the spring.

New Website March 10, 2009

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For those of you that still read this….

I think one of the problems with this website has been its lack of focus. From now on, the focus of this website will be around political and funny stuff.

I reference Teach For America often here, and I’ve created a new website focusing just on those experiences. feel free to check it out HERE

www.somedayallblogs.wordpress.com

CSPAN THE MUSICAL-Volume I February 11, 2009

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resident Obama is sitting at his desk. His tie is loosened, and he is obviously stressed

OBAMA:
My first day in office certainly wasn’t that hard
The only hiccup was Roberts inability to read from a card
but now crisis are mounting, folks are beating down my door
this certainly wasn’t the change I had hoped for.

The media is pounding me, and I can’t relax
because nobody I hired paid all their taxes.
Then the economy descended into insanity,
and my idiot press sec said I’d grab beers with Sean Hannity
Hopefully my stimulus bill can get some momentum flowing
Lemme check CSPAN and see how thats going…

Cut to: PELOSI’S OFFICE
Nancy Pelosi is meeting with her staffers, and other high level Democratic House members. They are giddily throwing around monopoly money.

PELOSI:
When we asked for children’s insurance, they laughed in our face
but now I’m in charge, and we’ll put the GOP back in it’s place
to hell with bipartisanship, they didn’t show any here
so lets load this bill up with our wishlist from the last 8 years!

Guys? What are your problems?

INTERN
In a few months, me and my girlfriend are having a baby
and we’re worried about money, since you really don’t pay me

PELOSI: 300 MILLION FOR PLANNED PARENTHOOD!!

AIDE
I’ve finally got some time off, but I don’t know what to do
since i’ve already watched everything in my Netflicks queue

PELOSI:
ANOTHER 600 MILLION FOR HOLLYWOOD!!

OTHER AIDE
Oh, I have something that requires me to vent
I hit a pothole driving to work, now my BMW has a dent!

PELOSI: (clearly drunk with power)
ELVENTY BILLION BUCKS TO BUILD NEW ROADS! Bwahaha

CUT TO: Republican Meeting

CANTOR: For 8 years we spent money like drunken fools
and hoped that nobody would notice, or read the news
now we’re hopelessly out of power, so its time to pretend
that we know anything about how to responsibly spend

BOEHNER: Let us make the most outlandish statements we can make on the floor!
Its easy to take a stand, when you don’t matter anymore!

Mike Huckabee: I sent out a letter to everybody on my mailing list
saying this bill is an abomination, and its making God pissed

Mitt Romney: I’m against this bill too! It’s certainly no fun
it gives no money at all to any company I run

Glenn Beck: LOOOOUD NOISES! I DONT KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!

(cut to: Obama, facepalming)

OBAMA: I thought my first 100 days were supposed to be a honeymoon?
If its all going to be just like this, I hope its 2012 soon….

Changing up V Day February 9, 2009

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I might catch some flack for this, but I really don’t like Valentine’s Day at all.

Now hear me out, this isn’t for any of the typical reasons. It isn’t because I’m some bitter single guy…I’m happily in a relationship, but I wasn’t bitter on Valentine Days past when I wasn’t. On the contrary, it allowed me to get all sorts of cheap candy the day or two after (and who doesn’t like cheap candy?)

It isn’t because I disprove of the materialism of the holiday either. So Hallmark and Buckeye Flowers get to make a few extra bucks over the weekend. We’re in a recession here people. Not only is it our obligation as boyfriends to buy stuff over Valentine’s day, its just flat out patriotic.

No, it isn’t the day itself that I have a problem with. It’s when we have it. There isn’t a worse possible time for a romantic holiday than in the middle of February, especially when you live in Central Ohio.

I mean, have any of you guys been outside these past few days? The sky has been gray for what seems like 13 consecutive days. The trees, grass, everything is barren and devoid of life. Its also cold, windy, and half of the sidewalks are still covered in ice. I’ve fallen down maybe a dozen times on the way to class these past few weeks. Sorry we couldn’t do dinner this weekend…I’m stuck at OSU hospital cause I broke my hip on Waldeck. Great.

Plus, this is the middle of flu season! Everybody has been battling that same case of the sniffles for about 6 weeks. When people are taking about sharing things with your loved ones, they typically aren’t talking about the flu. Some things are best kept to yourself.

It all seems like quite a predicament, but I’m a solutions orientated guy, and I have an idea. Why not just move Valentine’s Day to say, early June?

Everybody is in a much better mood in June. The sun comes back out, and we can all shake off our lingering Seasonal Affective Disorder. We aren’t sick anymore, and it’ll be warm enough to do things outside, creating more possibilities for fun Valentine’s Day activities. Plus, June isn’t a big holiday month. A quick Google search shows me that we have Father’s Day, Flag Day, and then a bunch of made up holidays in those first two weeks (national ballpoint pen day? Seriously? I bet we can squeeze Valentine’s Day in there somewhere). This works out better for everybody.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go down a shot of DayQuil. . I got make sure I’m healthy by this weekend.