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Party Poopers April 29, 2009

Posted by Matt Brown in Uncategorized.
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So I meant to write this yesterday, but I was pretty looped up on drugs. Not hallucinogenics or anything, just plain ol’ off the counter cold meds. I’ve been battling a mild cold ( or, as a co-worker assumed, Swine Flu. Look. Not every latin guy who sneezes is carrying the swine flu), and I thought I could go save a few bucks by getting the Kroger brand cold meds instead of the label. Turns out, Kroger Cold Medicine is a concoction of tryptophan and elephant tranquilizers. I was NOT qualified to operate heavy machinery. Hell, I wasn’t qualified to operate a stapler (This is why I need an intern at work).

I took a quick break from work to scan some headlines, in a futile attempt to remain conscious. Thats when I stumbled upon the big political bombshell…Senator Arlen Spector of Pennsylvania announced he was leaving the Republican Party, and switching to the Democrats, giving the D’s a filibuster-proof 60 seat majority. Or at least, they will once Norm Coleman runs out of continues and gives up his legal challenge.

So I tried to do some serious, Hunter S.Thompson style gonzo journalism, and type something up while loopy on whatever Kroger moonshine I had ingested. No luck. No scathing insights arrived in my head. I just wanted to sleep. No, I wanted to HIBERNATE. When the going gets weird, the weird go pro I guess….and I should leave that stuff to the pros.

So maybe sobriety will deliver some insight.

First, one thing needs to be made clear before we can dig deep into the analysis. Arlen Specter left the Republican party because he was about to get clownstomped by Pat Toomey in the Republican primary…not because of any high minded idealism. Polling showed Specter down 20% to Toomey, but in a general, Specter wins by double digits. If that wasn’t the case, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Biden et all have been working on this guy for years, and Specter even said a few months ago he wasn’t interested in switching parties.

Now, is that a bad thing? We might look at Specter and call him a cold, calculating, spineless Politician, and maybe thats true….but clearly the people of Pennsylvania see something in him, because they have reelected him so many times, and given the opportunity, will prob do so again. Many Republicans feel betrayed by the switch (and I guess I can understand why. I would have been a little upset when Ben Nighthorse Cambell switched to the Republicans…or I would have been, if I wasn’t 6)…does Specter have an obligation to them, or just his constituents, the people of the Keystone state? While I think its kind of a jerk move to announce this just a few weeks after the RNC says they’ll support him over Toomey, I think its hard to argue that Specter doesn’t have the right to do this.

I don’t know too much about Pennsylvania. Off the top of my head, here is a brief list I came up with:
1) No matter where you are driving, you will be stuck in Pennsylvania for about 4 hours.
2) Penn State’s football coach once pooped his pants on the sidelines
3) The state’s demographics are rapidly changing. Over 200,000 voters switched their registration to the democrats.

All of those are true. Look ‘em up. The 3rd one I think speaks to the bigger issue that I’ve alluded to in a couple of these notes.

When Toomey wins by 20% in the GOP primary, but loses by 10% in the general to the same guy, you have a problem. When you lose 200,000 people in the voter rolls, you have a problem. When people are openly betting on when Oympia Snowe jumps ship with Spector, you have a problem. Letting your party be hijacked by radical activists at the expense of people who are actually electable is a problem. Not just for Republicans, but for anybody who likes good government.

I’m personally okay with Specter being a Dem, because a Democrat Specter is likely to vote the way that I would personally vote…as a somewhat conservative Democrat. When we’re looking at 60 (and after 2010, 60+) Dems in the senate, I start to worry a little bit…because then there is no check on bad ideas. Even though those 60 Democrats run across a very large political spectrum (from Ben Nelson, who is practically a Republican, to Sanders, who is a European Socialist), letting one group amass that kind of power typically leads to a circular firing squad, wasted money, and bad ideas. We need a loyal opposition that is capable of actually being a coherent opposition…not this mess.

Right now, I guess Specter is being a bit of a Party Pooper. You have to wonder if others will follow suit, or if the guys in charge will finally get the message. Anybody can see the dangers of prolonged one party domination.

Even if you’re hopped up on cold meds.

Poems are one of the good things about America April 12, 2009

Posted by Matt Brown in Uncategorized.
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Easter weekend typically means a mass exodus from campus. By the time I awoke this morning, my roommate, most of my friends, and my girlfriend were all out of town…and my family was still very much scattered across the country. It looked like I was going to be in charge of my own fun tonight.

I went strolling down high street in the afternoon, and stumbled across a bookstore/coffeeshop place that I had been meaning to check out. On a lark, I walked inside, poked around for a bit, bought a book (How Soccer Explains the World for 6 bucks. I both enjoy soccer *and* the world, so I figured it was a pretty solid investment), read for a little bit on one of their comfy couches, and then decided to head back home. On my way out, I noticed a poster on the door, advertising the release party for a book called “The Good Things About America”. I had never been to any kind of poetry or prose reading event before, and my alternative plans for the evening involved drinking all the Gatoraid in my fridge and playing NBA Live 08 all night…so I decided I’d come back in a few hours and check it out.

I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Despite being a writer, I’m not really the most “literary” figure in my family (that title goes to my younger sister, who is rapidly becoming a renowned poet in Madison, Wisconsin). I write mostly political commentary, non-fiction and sportswriting. I haven’t really attempted a poem since 8th grade (I wrote a 3 page epic poem called The Great Panda Problem, detailing a group of Panda’s escape from the Zoo, and subsequent takeover of the world. It won “best poem” that year. I decided to retire at the top of my game). Am I even allowed to go to things like this?

My feelings of nervousness didn’t really go away when I first walked in to the coffeeshop. People were wearing fedoras, chuck taylors and double breasted shirts. I looked down to see what I was wearing. I had a blue t-shirt that said COLLEGE (a la Animal House), and brown flip flops. I had gotten my hair cut that day, and still had the gel in my hair. I stuck out like a white guy at Live at the Apollo. What killed me is that I actually own a fedora. I wanted to shout “No, this isn’t what it looks like. I’m really one of you people! Let me get my hat and we can talk about books!”

But was I?

The room quickly filled up, and I found myself sitting in a group of hipsters. The reading began with a few songs from a stripped down rock band. People were in the crowd were laughing and chatting with each other during the songs. I got the impression that most people here knew each other from somewhere else…somewhere else in this scene, which made me feel a little more self conscious. I vaguely entertained thoughts of leaving, but I would have had to crawl over 20 people to get to the door, and dammit, I walked all this way to hear some poems about America.

After a few songs, the band left the makeshift stage, and a tall fellow stepped up the mic. He introduced himself as the editor of the book. He told us that in his travels, he’d hear lots of poets writing about America, but usually in the context of America sucking. Our president is stupid, our foreign policy is unjust, we’re killing the planet, blah blah blah. Quite frankly, it was starting to bring him down. Sure, America has lots of problems, but why do we only have to write about the bad stuff? He called up some of his fellow poets from across the country, asked them to write about the *good* things, and published the book.

As somebody who writes about politics regularly, and also hangs out in a fairly left-leaning crowd most of the time, I think its critical to read stuff like this sometimes. Writing about politics (or even paying attention to politics) can be a major drag sometimes…people can be self-serving and corrupt….it can bring out the most banal and disappointing aspects of our personalities. It can be scary and hateful and sad and make you question why you even bother.

And then you remember…its because I Really Like America. I would even go so far as to say America kicks ass.

Many of the poets featured in the book journeyed to Columbus for the reading…some from Boston, New York, Oklahoma, and others. They talked about families, love, their hometowns,Elections and Heroes, their favorite cities, and the American Experience. My heart filled with pride.

Many of the poems (and the poets) were exceptionally witty and smart, and I found myself laughing and joking with my seatmates. I felt myself becoming a little more comfortable after every poem, after every story, and after every mutually enjoyed pun. One poet, after reading, crumpled up his manuscript into a ball, and tossed it into the crowd. Audience members fought for it like fans might jostle for a foul ball at a baseball game. I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe these are my people after all. I left the reading without any shred of self-consciousness.

The readers were far more diverse than my initial “poet” stereotype had allowed for. There was an older gentleman from southern ohio who read stories from his dark (but also oddly hilarious) book about a fictional town in Ross County. There was a woman who lived in ultra-conservative Oklahoma, whose mother kept a cardboard cutout of Barack Obama in her kitchen (after the last 8 years…I just need to see his face every morning she said. Apparently she hasn’t been able to find a cardboard Michelle yet). Folks from all over the country, from all different backgrounds and with different life experiences read and shared.

I ended up buying the book, making it the first poetry book to grace my bookshelf. I walked out of the reading feeling completely refreshed and rejuvenated. I am prob. not able to write like they can. My writing is like bread, and their poems, like an expensive wine. Its perfectly fine to write bread….after all, everybody eats bread. But Jesus was on to something when he said that man cannot live on bread alone. Sometimes you need a sip of something more complicated to refresh your pallet.

They’re in ur government, legalizin’ ur gheys April 9, 2009

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I was sitting in Wendy’s two nights ago, trying to eat my chicken sandwich in piece, but the TV was distracting me. It was turned to MSNBC, and some commentator had a few talking heads on to discuss the recent developments in Iowa and Vermont, two states that recently made gay marriage legal. The commentator breathlessly said that “now is the time for a national discussion about gay marriage”.

You know what? I agree. But to save time, I’m just going to go ahead and do all the talking. Hope thats okay with you guys.

Q: These arrogant activist judges! Who do they think they are, striking down legislation that is clearly the will of the people?
A: Uh…maybe they think they’re judges? Isn’t that the entire concept of Judicial Review? Populists might clamor that this is elitist…and they’re right. Parts of our government were established to be a check on popular sentiment. If “just being popular” is enough of a reason for laws to escape judicial review, whats the point of having a judiciary? That “judicial activism” gave us Brown v Board of Education and Baker V Carr.

Plus, if we define “judicial activism” as “the supreme court voting to overturn a ruling”, then the Conservative wing is more likely to be activist. I’d like to suggest another definition of “Activist Judges”….”When judges make a decision that I disagree with”.

Seriously. How many people who are mad at the Iowa Supreme Court are basing their arguments on their knowledge of the Constitution of Iowa?

Q: Legalizing gay marriage and civil unions will doubtless start us on a slippery slope towards legalizing polygamy, pedophilia, animal marriages, and marrying Janet Reno.
A: I beg to differ. Animals and children cannot consent, so they cannot be married. Full stop. The United States doesn’t have the legal tradition of some place like Pakistan, where marrying off 11 year olds seems to be okay (and, oddly enough, Pakistan doesn’t allow gay marriage). Gay Marriage/Civil Unions, an agreement between two, consenting adults, is not analogous to any of the other aforementioned acts.

Polygamy may involve contenting parties (maybe, some sociological research on how relationships work on polygamous compounds might beg to differ), but its pretty easy to justify denying some legal benefits to multiple parties, as it would be easy to set up “families” as tax sheltering devices. The boondoggle dividing up benefits after a polygamous divorce might be a boon to lawyers, but it would be a huge hassle for our courts as well.

Besides, take it from a Mormon, polygamy ain’t worth it. Last time we tried that, mobs kidnapped and killed our leader, drove us from our perfectly good town in Illinois, drove us across the wilderness, and forced to settle in Utah. Gross. Where would the mobs send you if you tried to be polygamous now? Alaska, to live in Sarah Palin’s kingdom? (I can see this….polygamous families welcome in Alaska, so long as every child gets an assault rife, and has a stupid name. . Hi, these are my wives Kara, Lisa and Emily…and our children; Tuscaloosa, Microwave and Battlestar Galatica)

Q: I don’t want a gay marriage.
A: I am unaware of any judicial ruling or legislative act requiring anybody to get one.

Q: Allowing Gay Marriage will threaten the institution of marriage.
A: I hear this one a lot, and I have yet to really get a satisfactoy answer from anybody, be they commentator, ecclesiastical authority, or anybody else as to exactly why that is. Lets say that we believe that Marriage is a unique institution specifically created for a Man and a Woman, and that any other union should go by a different name. Okay, lets call the other one’s civil unions, and let them have the same benefits. Is that okay?

Many who oppose GM also oppose that idea, and I’m exactly sure why. Knowing that dudes are holding hands somewhere in San Fransisco doesn’t in any way cheapen or damage the wonderful (heterosexual) relationship I have now. When I’m out with my girlfriend…I’m not thinking about gay people. Like…ever. If you are, well…I’m no Dr.Phil, but I suspect your relationship may have other issues.

Is  Marriage under attack? Sure, I believe that, but not by the gays. Divorce rates are high, and there are lots of possible culprits. Financial insecurity/worries have damaged lots of relationships. Pornography certainly has. Poor communication, infidelity, health problems….I can think of lots of things that might be contributing to marriages breaking down. *That* is a very important topic that we *should* have a national conversation about. The Nuclear Family is an institution worth defending.

But Gays? How often do you think this happens?
Honey, I know we’ve been married for 10 years, and I know we loved each other. But Iowa just legalized Gay Marriage, and I really think I should use that opportunity to take my Bro-mance with Chad to a new level. Before, it was just our weekly poker game and phone calls about fantasy baseball. Now….we can share Social Security. I just think its a better deal.

Really? I doubt it.

Q: Homosexuality is clearly a sin, and as such, we should oppose GM/CU
A: Personally, I think Theology doesn’t really enter into it. My own theological views on homosexuality are kind of moot as far as the debate over hospital visitation rights and pension sharing is concerned. My religious faith also teaches me to abstain from the consumption of alcohol and coffee, but it would be wrong to try and force that on everybody, no?

There is not a legal reason to think that allowing Civil Unions would require churches to marry gay people if they didn’t want to. Certainly, if there was, I would vigorously oppose it. Churches should have the freedom to marry/allow in whoever they want…but there is no credible reason to think that that would change. If somebody says otherwise in church, they are not speaking out of any understanding of the law.

At the end of the day, I may have my own theological belief about homosexuality, but why should that mean that gay people shouldn’t have hospital visitation rights?

Q: Thats about all I can think of.
A: Me too. Good talk.

Anger in the Age of Obama April 7, 2009

Posted by Matt Brown in Politics.
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It’s 2:04 PM and I can feel my brain turning to mush.

It isn’t the first time its happened, and I doubt it will be the last. I’m sitting here at my desk, searching through various news websites and blogs, trying to find something interesting to write about. I glance through the CNN Political Ticker, and I can feel my eyes start to glaze over as I scan the headlines for todays new manufactured political “crisis”. Omg, Obama farted at the G20. Sarkozy turned up his nose. Americans are outraged. Eric Cantor releases a statement on how Republicans would never embarrass our country like that, and it this flatulence incident just shows the glaring inexperience of our administration.

Below that are 6 other stories showing people getting outraged over tiny, mundane things. I switch over to gchat, where I’m talking with Maya, hoping that she’ll say something intelligent to break my mental lethargy. Instead, she describes, in graphic detail, her baby Miles’ latest poops. Now my head is full of political spin drivel, AND I know what a “four wiper” is. My eyes are bleeding.

Yes, I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m getting dumber, and I’m giving part of the blame to this newfangled internet news machine, which I’ve been so hooked up to, trying to mine article ideas.

From October to around February, the theme of the political news was “Hope”. It was the centerpiece of a winning political campaign, and it lurked in the background of several other issue debates. “We’re plotting a new direction”, we were told. “We’re going to erase the mistakes of the past, and we’re going to make history.” Political copy swelled with Hope, and I felt it burst into reality at the Obama Inauguration, where I felt like I was getting a big hug from a million formally oppressed liberals. Not only was it satisfying to get so recklessly emotionally involved with a cause, but writing was easy. I churned out thousands of words, and could have easily churned out thousands more if there was enough of a market.

But Hope no longer appears to be the dominant emotion in politics right now. It appears that Hope has given way to Anger.

Anger at politics and politicians is certainly nothing new. Would be politicos of my generation would do well to study Mark Twain and H.L Mencken to get a good historical perspective on government loathing. To me though, this anger is different…its broader, deeper, and profoundly personal.

The frustration seems to be pretty broad, and is popping up all over the place. People flip out over AIG bonuses, even though they represent tiny percentages of the stimulus bills. Folks are losing their jobs, their homes and their retirement plans. We can turn on the TV to see Lou Dobbs give himself a hernia while flipping out about Mexicans, and see Glenn Beck build a Chamber Of Fear bunker in Ruby Ridge and wait for the Second Coming. Add all of this up with the fact that quite a few people felt personally attacked by Obama’s very existence, and a culture of very unrealistic expectations, and we have the recipe for a smoldering vat of Anger.

Now, I’m just speculating here, but I think I might have an idea while some of that anger is so strong. Never in my short life have I felt the difference between generations this much. On one hand, we have an older generation who has held political, economic and cultural power for the last several decades…the Reagan Democrats, older working whites, etc. Their families might have moved out to the suburbs in the white flight era of the 1950s and 60s, and now the demographics of their neighborhoods are completely different. Their social values did not get passed down the following generation, and more socially progressive policies look to march on. The economy shifted from blue collar to high tech service, and they might have been left behind.

I’m not saying that feeling is totally unjustified or wrong, just my hypothesis.

Me? I’m not angry. I don’t have the capacity to stay angry at everything anymore…I get scandal fatigue. I pick a few pet issues to get all righteously indignant about (the achievement gap in American public schools, the growing anti-intellectualism of America, poor reporting, the fact that the Mike Brown still won’t hire a GM for the Cincinnati Bengals, those sorts of things), and then try to sift through the rest of the stories, separating the total crap from the important things that other, intelligent, passionate people will fight.

My little sister still gets angry at every injustice, and I have a few friends who still do. Bless their hearts. Others have totally unplugged themselves, washed their hands, and declared that the issues of the world are “somebody else’s problems”. I hope that as I continue to get older, I don’t lose my ability to get angry. Its important to get angry sometimes…it shows you still have passion, that you’re still paying attention.

But that anger needs to be channeled into productive sources, not trapped in a spin cycle of fear and loathing. If you’re upset about the way things are going, there are legitimate, proper cycles to go about changing things. Now is not the time for bunkers or fear chambers. To fall into that trap would end whatever hope and goodwill we might have accumulated, and put us all right back where we started.

I’d go on, but my gchat is flashing again, which means another “the baby pooped!” story….and my mind is back to mush.