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Confusion in the Captiol January 30, 2009

Posted by Matt Brown in Uncategorized.
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There are strange things coming out of Washington DC these days, and I’m not just talking about the city’s shutdown over a light snow dusting a few days ago (Memo to DC, I know its hard to steer your BMW in a little in 2 inches of snow, but if you were smart enough to go to Georgetown Law, I bet you’re smart enough to figure out how to drive. Do you know what we call what you got on Monday in Ohio? April). The new Congress has voted on its first few bills, and the results are a little strange.

The Obama administration had placed a public premium on becoming more bipartisan. On the most recent high profile legislation, the economic stimulus bill, many would say more than a good faith effort was made. One of the most egregious bits of pork (millions for sex education slipped in by Pelosi) was removed. Concessions were made, meetings were held…and when it came time to count the vote, every single House Republican voted against it. All of them.

This wasn’t just for this piece of higher profile legislation. Nate Silver at 538 just wrote a great piece on this…nearly every Republican in the House voted against the transition to digital tv (a measure that was supported by EVERY SINGLE Senate Republican), and all but 3 voted against the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, a measure that was supported by all 4 Republican Women Senators. It would appear that Eric Cantor and the House GOP Leadership don’t exactly plan to be very conciliatory.

And to that, I have to say…are you guys crazy?

This isn’t overly partisan Matt Brown, watching the GOP implosion with schadenfreude. This is serious professional journalist Matt…for the life of me, I can’t understand this strategy.

Obama is one of the most talented, politically anyway, politicians in our generation. He’s sitting on nearly a 70% approval rating. The public, depending on how their asked, supports the stimulus bill by large margins (from 17-40%, depending on the poll). House Republicans, actually, Republicans in general, have been flat out getting slaughtered in almost every election since 2006. There is a pretty clear public mandate going on right now.

So when your national brand is so low (and poised to get even lower, given what seats they have to defend in the Senate in 2010), why run the risk of being *perceived* as being obstructionists to the popular agenda? Nobody should expect Republicans to go along with everything Obama wants, but whats the point of killing digital TV transition, (when all your GOP peers in the Senate thought it was okay)? Did every single GOP Congressman who represents a +D district already lose? If not, this behavior isn’t going to help.

You can’t run against a president with a 68% approval rating. Democrats did this from 2006-2008, because George W. Bush was about as popular as venereal disease.

Mitch McConnell is right. The future isn’t so bright for Republicans, unless they make some changes (which Conservatives, by their very nature, are rarely very excited to make). In addition to being saddled with the legacy of one of the most unpopular presidents in US history, in addition to having a fairly short bench, they have a coming demographic explosion on their hands. The electorate is changing, and the Nixon’s southern strategy, or Rove’s divide and conquer, aren’t going to work anymore.

The US electorate is going to have a lot more people like me. More Latinos. More young people. More folks employed in the service sector. The demographic that has been the GOP base for so long, older white males, is shrinking. Either you make changes to make your party more inclusive, or you become content to rule over Utah, Idaho, Alaska and Alabama.

The next few months should be interesting…if this behavior is prolonged, will there be any backlash? Does this mean that Eric Cantor is the de facto face of the Republican Party? (Better than Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh I guess) Will the next head of the DNC understand that there is more to winning a larger share of young people than using facebook?

Who knows. This political season could have more unanswered questions, and make less sense than a season of Lost (but with less polar bears).

Sportmanship and Toothbrushes January 28, 2009

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Things can get pretty heated when me and my buddies play Madden. In the heat of battle, disparaging remarks about mothers and girlfriends might get thrown about. We might pause the game in the middle of a play, or force each other to watch instant replays of that last Hail Mary again and again. Just because we bust each other’s chops doesn’t mean that there aren’t lines that we don’t cross though. If somebody is lucky enough to have a huge lead, that person better not start going for fake punts on 4th down. Poor Madden sportsmanship will result in a deluge of profanities and hurt feelings at the very least. Flagrant violations of video game sportsmanship might result in something drastic, like my roommate discovering his toothbrush floating in our toilet.

The point is, even in the heat of competition, there are certain lines you shouldn’t cross.

Covenant Christian, near Dallas Texas, would have done well to remember that. Covenant’s girls basketball team recently defeated neighboring Dallas Academy 100-0. That isn’t a typo…they actually pitched a shutout in a basketball game. Covenant plans on competing for a state title in Texas, whereas Dallas Academy, a school that specializes in helping students with learning disabilities. Academy has only 20 girls in their entire high school. Clearly, this was going to be a mismatch.

But Covenant’s coaching staff didn’t exactly help matters. After racing to more than a 50 point lead at halftime, Covenant continued to shoot three pointers and press (according to media reports). After the game, the embarrassed headmaster for Covenant issued a public apology for the massacre, and for good reason. I know the Bible is rather silent as to what kind of defense Jesus would run, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be running a full court press against a team of special education students if he was winning by more than 20.

But Covenant’s coach was unrepentant, saying that he disagreed with the administration, and didn’t think he had anything to apologizer for. The Covenant administration, wisely seeing that this kind of behavior clashed with the mission of their school, recently sacked the coach.

I’ve covered high school sports for other newspapers before. Sometimes things can get out of hand quickly. It isn’t fair to either team, or the game, to tell one team to quit playing, but there are ways to win without embarrassing or obliterating somebody. A smart coach would have used a blowout to try some new offensive sets, and would have just asked his team to use more of the shot clock, and stop pressing. Running up the score isn’t just a display of classlessness, but it robs his team of an important teaching opportunity.

Stunts like this have a way of coming back to haunt you. In Texas, maybe he’ll just find himself on the other end of a massive blowout.

If he tried that in our apartment, he might want to watch his toothbrush.

I swear, this is my last inauguration piece January 25, 2009

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I feel like I’ve been beating a dead horse a little bit here. Over the last few days, I think I’ve written 4 articles, and close to 3,000 words on my brief trip back to DC for the Obama inauguration. I’ve been looking through my notesbooks that I kept on the trip though, and I think there are still a few things I would like to flesh out, now that the pressures of deadlines and stylistic rules have passed.

Or at least I think so, because my notebooks are nearly incomprehensible, even to me. When I’m writing on deadline, my I frantically take notes, with little regard to things like “finishing thoughts”. I kind of take the “House” approach, where I frantically throw sentence fragments up on the whiteboard, bounce them around people around me, and see what sticks. Sometimes this works out pretty well…other times, like when I’m covering sports stories, I sit down at the computer, frantically turn through 11 pages of notes, and go “What the hell does G 42—+8 3-11 HIT mean? Was I taking notes of a Battleship game??”

A few of them still make sense. The words “Just for the feeling of being here” are circled and underlined, which kinda became the thesis of my first piece. Other fragments never really made it into the articles.

One was a circle that said Greyhound: Pass The Baby. I’ve done a fair amount of traveling these past few years, and since I don’t often have the money (or the foresight) to fly, I end up taking a lot of Greyhound buses. I don’t know how many of you have experience on those wonderful buses, but those of you who have know what I mean when I say you always meet characters. I’ve had folks try to sell me drugs in Milwaukee, heard prophesies on the end of the world in Pittsburgh, and sat next to many an Amish guy on the route from Columbus to Cleveland

(funny aside. last time I road with Amish guys, I caught them playing the Deer Hunter video game at the Columbus bus station. They were really getting into it too…high fiving each other and yelling. It was the funniest thing I ever saw, since these same guys had been glaring at me something fierce when I had the audacity to send text messages in front of them on the way back.)

Anyways, this trip to DC was no different. We had a woman sitting in front of us who had the most adorable little baby boy. He was quite the ham, and was entertaining everybody sitting around him (I tried to teach him how to drum on the seat). Sometime after we passed Pittsburgh, the woman fell asleep, and passed her baby around to other passengers on the bus to hold. Total strangers! Random Greyhound people were bouncing him around, trying to feed him cheezy poofs, etc, while I just sat there, horrified.

The other note that I didn’t really get a chance to write more about just said “Homecoming?” Washington DC will always be a special place to me. Its where I first became independent, first became intellectually aware, and on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, last March, where I wrote my first facebook note, and had the audacity to think that *maybe* I could be a writer.

The first time I was in DC, I joked that I thought the Potomac was full of Root Beer. Now, sitting on those steps, I could see it was filled with ice. My transfer from American to OSU was ugly and hard, and I used to tell everybody that I still considered myself a DC guy. But every time I go back, despite always loving it, my over-romanticism becomes more apparent. Its taken me a few years, but now I finally feel that Columbus is my home. DC is a place that I visit (with a grin plastered to my face the whole time), and I’m okay with that. The homecoming wasn’t so much when I stepped out at Union Station…it was when I went back to High St.

So, another 1,000 words later, I think I’m ready to finally put this story too bed. There will be new adventures, new political beats to break, and its time for me to move on to them. My only regret is that I still can’t spell inauguration right on the first try.

Hearin’ it Downtown for a year January 16, 2009

Posted by Matt Brown in Uncategorized.
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So, it just occurred to me that I’ve been blogging in some capacity (between this and my last site) or another for about a year now. This calls for some sort of party right?

I’m heading to Washington DC in a few days to cover the Obama inauguration, and its going to be some sort of blogapalooza. Starting on Monday, check out www.newarkadvocate.com for some liveblogging from me, and other folks from my hometown who are heading to the big show. Other material of mine ought to appear in the Ohio State Lantern, and this website.

Hopefully, by then I’ll have learned how to spell “inauguration” without having to right click the little red squiggly lines and have the computer fix it for me.

These Aren’t Your Dads Baseball Cards January 13, 2009

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Like a lot of guys, I used to collect baseball cards when I was a kid. I had shoeboxes full of ‘em, all neatly placed in little plastic sleeves, categorized by team, waiting to be showed off or traded with some of the other neighborhood kids. My dad helped fuel my habit, but purchasing bulk packs of some of the older Topps sets from 1988 or 1989 that nobody seemed to want (which would unfortunately also contain the bubble gum from 1988. Turns out gum becomes inedible after a decade. Who woulda thought?). I dabbled in basketball and football cards, but baseball cards were always my passion. I heard rumors that they made cards for even more obscure sports, like NASCAR, but to a purist like me, that bordered on sacrilege.

So imagine my reaction when I discovered that Topps, the company that brought me so much joy as a 10 year old sports fan, is now coming out with a line of Barack Obama trading cards. http://tinyurl.com/94w83g

My first thought was that this had to be some kind of joke, like those awful commercials the NCAA puts out, with kids swapping trading cards of “Student Athletes” (A Mike Greene Rookie card? No way, the dude dominates the chemistry lab! Thanks NCAA. Thanks to your commercial, I’m convinced that you want to put the student in student athlete first. I was worried there for a second). Are politician trading cards the way of the future? Will my children open up a pack to find a Bill Clinton rookie card, which a picture of him making his first copies? Or perhaps Joe Biden, grabbing his first cup of coffee for his congressman? Perhaps they’ll be so lucky to find a rare Dick Cheney rookie card, where he’s shooting another rival intern in the head with a BB gun.

Maybe Politician trading cards will help give a spark to Fantasy Congress, a game similar to fantasy baseball, only now it’s only played by the terminally single in American University dorm rooms. (ohh snap Zach Space broke up a filibuster this week. That’s worth like 40 fantasy points). Will we have Matthew Berry breaking down the California 14th congressional district on ESPN? Is that what you want America??

This trend worries me. Look, I like Barack Obama a lot. I voted for him. I did a little campaigning for him….but even I am becoming slightly unnerved by this recent baseball card development. The guy hasn’t even been sworn it yet, and we’re already putting his face on trading cards? There aren’t a whole lot of things more American than baseball cards, and the day that we start selling packs of Politician cards right alongside them…well, that’s a little too much Change for even this political junkie.

When Are We Even Going To Use This? January 10, 2009

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I closed my eyes this morning for a second, and had a rather unpleasant flashback. I was back in my freshman Geometry class, struggling through axioms, proofs, and dejectedly looking at my latest test, awash in angry red ink. 68%. I remember looking up at Mr.Bright and asked the question that would be burned into the minds of future liberal arts students everywhere. “Seriously, Mr.Bright, when am I ever going to USE this?”

And here was my answer…on the Praxis test. Why high school math problems were on my elementary school content Praxis exam, I’ll never know…but they were there, sending me into a mental tailspin, as I searched the deep recesses of my brain for facts that probably were never there to begin with.

Everybody told me not to worry much about the test. “Its just Elementary School content stuff…you’re about to graduate college right? No sweat”…so I didn’t sweat. But when those first two math problems were questions that I vaguely remembered from my SAT, I my fear that I had outkicked my coverage with this whole Teach For America business came back out to the forefront.

I had hoped I was done with this whole standardized test stuff by now. I’ve been celebrating after every one I’ve taken now, sure that it would be the last time I would be told to “put my no.2 pencils down”, but alas, they keep throwing more at me. I thought the SAT was the last one, then I had to take that again, then the LSAT, and now the Praxis…and I’m hearing rumors that there will be more Praxis tests in my future. I’m lucky that I tend to do fairly well on these tests, but I wouldn’t say that I don’t “sweat” them…mostly because I think I peaked academically in 8th grade.

I wonder what a “no sweat” test would look like. Maybe if we got rid of all the “arcane math problems” and “graph reading” questions, and changed the categories to something like…

Geeky Political Trivia
Bruce Springsteen
The NBA
Great Moments in Ohio Sports Curse History
Terrible Puns

and the Essay Question: Sarah Palin is giving a press conference today. In a facebook note between 600-1,000 words, make as many jokes as you possibly can.

Would I pass that no problem? You Betcha.

Luckily for me, the first two math questions were the exception, and the rest of my 120 question exam focused on things I actually know. I’m pretty confident that my results will show that I know enough about fractions and basic American history to be trusted in front of 3rd graders.

More importantly though, I know how to answer when some smaralec asks “when are we going to use this?”

Now the Porn industry needs a bailout? January 8, 2009

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EDITORIAL DISCLAIMER:

THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS TERRIBLE PUNS THAT DEVIATE FROM THE TYPICAL IHEARDITDOWNTOWN PG-13 AUDIENCE.  IF YOU ARE MORE MATURE THAN A 15 YEAR OLD BOY, SKIP THIS ARTICLE AND READ THE ONE MATT STRUHAR WROTE ABOUT GAZA INSTEAD.

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“Dude, pause the game for a second. You gotta see this headline”
“Wait, is this the Onion? Is this a joke?”
“No man. Its real. Porn Industry asks for 5 Billion Federal Bailout”
“Man, I kinda thought the Porn Industry was built to withstand a pounding. Why would they need a bailout?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty confused too. I kinda figured industries like porn were pretty recession-proof. People will always need something to get them through…hard times”
“Like beer and cigs huh? If those are failing, I guess we’re all pretty screwed.”

“yeah. What do you think though? Should we help ‘em out? The Porn industry might be too big to fail”
“You may be right. Think of all the jobs that might be lost!”
“I have to wonder if maybe this approach was too direct.”
“Are you suggesting they should have attempted some sort of reach around?”
“Maybe. Maybe they’re just being too anal about this whole thing.”
“On the other hand, can you really trust them with that much money? They might steal it all and pull out early”
“haha, these aren’t your father’s puns. These are PornoPuns!”
“Actually, these are exactly the kind of puns my dad would have made.”

“On a serious note here, why on earth would the porno industry need 5 billion dollars? I’m thinking here, and I can’t envision any kind of expense that would justify that. People don’t see adult movies for the CGI graphics and expansive scenery right?”
“I doubt it. You don’t really need to pay for top-flight writing talent here either I imagine. Where in their business model would you need 5 billion bucks? I mean, besides Joe Francis’ legal defense fund? Larry Flynt’s Viagra?”
“I’m going to do some research”
“Not on my computer you’re not!”

“I’m pretty sure Flynt and Francis were kidding about this whole thing right? I mean, I’m not really an expert on this sort of thing, but I’m pretty sure Francis is a felon. These people aren’t really model citizens”
“Yeah, thats all true, but when you compare it to other recent government expenditures, is it really that crazy anymore? I’d rather take my chances with a pervert like Francis than forking over more billions to AIG and Co. without any accountability.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Mindless self-gratification without any regard to possible consequences. Maybe Porn and Congress aren’t so different after all. They deserve this.”
“Yeah, its not like they aren’t both full of asses.”

Gaza January 3, 2009

Posted by Matthew Struhar in Foreign Affairs.
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I never had the opportunity to address Middle East issues or foreign affairs in general in the Lantern. There was kind of a major U.S. election going on, and my focus on foreign policy was limited to issues like torture and criticism of George W. Bush (and by extension, John McCain).

So, needless to say, while I’m sad that such a war has broken out, part of me regrets that I won’t be able to write about it next quarter. But there here I go anyway.

The abandonment of the peace process is one of the greatest failures of George W. Bush, a president who already amassed considerable failures in virtually every other category. John Mearsheimer will have you believe that the influence of AIPAC is primarily responsible for this madness. Nonsense. It was Bush’s ideology that left no room for compromise in dealing with terrorism, and it was Bush’s ideology that pushed for Palestinian elections against the advice of, well, everyone involved except Hamas, who won those elections. If not for that, we probably wouldn’t be in a situation that will see the resuming of military occupation in Gaza. But here we are.

I wrote extensively about Hamas in my Terror and Terrorism class. I’m no expert. Not knowing Arabic, I had to rely on translations. Their political philosophy notwithstanding, they’re a strategically Maoist organization. Two steps forward. One step back. And they’re such on a horizontal scale – not merely militarily, but politically as well. They make political progress via misguided elections and give hints that they’re willing to negotiate over peace, then they take an active hardline, going so far as to fire rockets across the Israeli border and killing civilians. They’ve been doing that for a year. Their calculation is political, and to them it’s a win-win. By killing civilians without any discrimination whatsoever, even between Israelis and Palestinians, Hamas thinks Israel will either a) respond with little force, broker a cease-fire and further legitimize Hamas or b) respond respond with much force (which Israel did), and using the resulting devastation as a rallying cry to further the organization’s support.

I hope that was a miscalculation and that Israel’s actions will help dismantle Hamas. It could very well be that Israel is making a mistake, only further angering Palestinians and emboldening Hamas. While I believe what Israel is doing is more than a political calculation on the part of Kadima, the domestic political situation in Israel cannot be dismissed so easily. So we’ll see if this will turn out better in the long-term than the war against Hezbollah. I certainly hope it will.

But I don’t really want to address that issue. I only want to address this in terms of just war and proportionality. War sucks. Over 400 Palestinians are dead. 2200 are injured. Hamas doesn’t care, obviously. As Jeffrey Goldberg writes, what makes Hamas such a formidable enemy is their lack of concern for the lives of Palestinians. What’s Israel to do when facing an enemy who believes that Palestinian lives lost go to Paradise and that Jewish lives lost are lives better off lost? Morally, a Palestinian life lost means less to Hamas than it does for Israel – except insofar as Hamas’ political legitimacy depends on dead Palestinians.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a hawk, but I have to dissent from a large portion of the American left in its assessment of Israel’s actions on a philosophical level. Maybe strategic criticisms are salient, but the moral criticisms are strangely anti-historical. The primary argument of the doves is that Israel’s retaliation is disproportional because more lives were lost. But this ignores the interconnectedness Israel’s capacity to kill and its higher moral standing in this war. In history, sovereign countries have taken advantage – if only a tiny advantage – of their capacity to kill in order to defend themselves from their enemies. Given the power imbalance between these two foes, and the obvious conclusion that Israel has been victimized by terrorism, it is morally indefensible to suggest that Israel does not have the right to set the standard of escalation in this war. If Hamas gets to dictate how many lives are too many – if the number of lives Hamas takes determine what is and what is not proportional – then Israel is in a war it cannot win. That is not fair. It is an insult to its sovereignty. If Israel cannot take advantage of the power imbalance, then no sovereign country has the right to defend itself.

Israel’s stomach to kill, compared to Hamas, has nausea. That’s because most Israelis – like all sane people- want to pursue a foreign policy not based around violence. If organizations like Hamas did not exist, foreign policy would never require violence. But the world is not a pleasing place. I hope Israel is doing what they’re doing because an opportunity has emerged to strike a serious blow against this terrible organization. I hope this is not a repeat of the war in Lebanon, which saw Hezbollah garner considerable political legitimacy out of military devastation. I really hope this ends well for both the Israelis and the Palestinians, for Hamas could care less about the latter. It primarily wants to make the former suffer, and that is why it cannot be allowed to have political power.

On the larger issue of the peace process, until Hamas is uninvolved and until the settlements in the West Bank are abandoned, there’s not really much hope. Hopefully having a grown-up as president will make a difference.