I Heard it Downtown

As I was surfing around the internet, looking around for another outlandish item to put on my list, I ran across this article on Fox News. Everybody should stop what they’re doing and read it. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,465844,00.html

Now, I don’t want you guys to get the wrong idea. I do NOT want a robot girlfriend for Christmas. I may be a sad, dorky nerd…but I am not anywhere CLOSE to that dorky (or creepy! I mean…seriously). Rather, for Christmas, I want to be the kind of journalist that gets to interview dorks like that. If working for Fox News means I get the Robot Girlfriend stories, I’m turning in my Liberal Elite Media press pass right now, and signing up for Rubert’s Army.

Lets break down this story together. Here’s the lead paragraph
Le Trung, a 33-year-old software engineer who lives with his parents in Brampton, Ontario, a suburb of Toronto, says he’s spent about $20,000 so far on Aiko, a 5-foot-tall female android with clear skin, a slim if shapely figure and a wonderful disposition.

Wait, a computer engineer who dropped 20 grand on a chick robot lives with his parents?!?. I’m shocked. But wait, this gets so much better

“She can recognize faces, she can identify medication, she can even butter your toast,” Le Trung tells the Toronto Globe and Mail. “Aiko is what happens when science meets beauty,” Le Trung tells the Sun of London. “Aiko doesn’t need holidays, food or rest, and will work almost 24 hours a day. She is the perfect woman.”

So he’s developmentally challenged, drops obscene amounts of money on a fake chick, AND he’s a chauvinist! I love this guy rattling off the features here. Who doesn’t need somebody to be at your beck and call, to butter your toast? I waste way too much time toast buttering myself…I bet if I had somebody to do it for me, I’d save maybe an hour a year. AN HOUR. Thats worth a 20,000 investment for me. I wonder if he’s seeing a REAL lady. Lets find out!

“Aiko is still a virgin

Okay, so I’m gonna go ahead and say no to that then. See, this is when Serious Professional Journalist Matt would try to keep from laughing, put his arm around the guy, and say “Look. I’m never going to be confused with Casanova or anything, but lemme office you a little advice here…dude to dude. Until you learn to see women as more than medicine-retrieving, toast-buttering slaves…this robot is the only action you’re going to see.”

Whats that, you aren’t even getting robot action?

AND NO I do not sleep with her,” he writes on the Project Aiko Web site, though he admits that she “has sensors in her body including her private parts, and yes even down there.”

hahahahaha! What 33 year old says “even down there?” I bet he was giggling and blushing the whole time. I might expect that sort of thing from my 3rd graders next year, but a grown man?

He shot a video of his little robot too…watch, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l6buDfU9AY) about 1:30 in, he tries to grab her plastic boob, and she smacks him! Shot down by his own robot! Forget Iraq. These are the stories that America needs to hear, and I need to be the person bringing it to them.

Wow. Just….wow.