I Heard it Downtown

“Ain’t you a bit..you know, old to be trick or treating?”

It was a perfectly fair question. 21 year olds don’t typically dress up in costume and lug around pillow cases, looking for Halloween loot. I admit, I did feel a little bit like a creeper, as I was being passed by 5 year olds in Batman costumes.

Of course, I wasn’t trolling for Snickers Bars or Smarties…I was trick or treating for spare change for charity, with my APO brothers. Most of the time, folks tossed in a handful of quarters into my sack, (I managed to charm a few homes with McCain signs on them with my costume…the Liberal Elite Media), but a few insisted on throwing candy in there as well….which got me thinking of a simpler time.

Halloween is a very different holiday when you’re in college. When we were little kids…it was AWESOME, right up there with Christmas. You got a chance to dress up as something cool (maybe your parents loved you enough to get you popular cartoon character costume or something…with that Ninja Turtles outfit, you’d be the boss of 3rd grade!), hang out past your bedtime, and fill up an entire pillowcase with enough candy to send you into a diabetic coma. The trick for me would be finding a way to sneak my stash into my room, before my mother could steal it, and check it for Razor Blade/Poison/All the Chocolates she liked.

I personally wasn’t so wild about the chocolate. The best candy for me were the sweet tarts/smarties sort of thing. The more brightly colored, the better. I wanted a candy that would turn my blood into high fructose corn syrup, which was a great idea for a kid with bad case of ADD, before they invented things like Ritalin.

Who cared that it was about 8 degrees, and that parka that mom threw on you obstructed your totally awesome costume? You were getting a bunch of treats that your mother would never purchase with her own free will FOR FREE…not with any of that emotional baggage of Valentine’s day. Whats better than that? Who doesn’t like candy?

But sadly, we grow out of it, and Halloween becomes something totally different. The costume replaces the candy as the focal point, and that’s kind of a stressful endeavor. If my trips down High St. are any indication, girls seem to have it a lot easier…you basically just go in your underwear, or pick any noun, and add “sexy” to it. When you were 7, you might have gone as a cat. When you’re 20, thats not socially appropriate. You go as a sexy cat.

When you’re a dude, you don’t really have that option. Lets be honest here people…nobody wants to see this wearing less clothing. We have to be creative. I mean, this part is still fun and all…but be honest with yourself. Whats really better…a fun party (or two) where you dress up as something clever, or a crap ton of candy? Was growing up here really that smart of a choice?

I’ve discussed this with a few of my classmates, and we’re starting to think that maybe all this growing up wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Sure, having increased freedom and autonomy is wonderful, but as I sat balancing my checkbook and paying bill after bill Saturday morning, I couldn’t help but long for simpler days. Instead of panicking over my uncertain future after graduation in an extremely shaky economy, I would worry if Mom would let me stay up late to watch Monday Night Football. Instead of worrying about money, I’d fret over my 3 paragraph essay on Ohio History. Heck, even High School was simpler. Outside of a few harried months worrying about my college future, my biggest high school fear was my girlfriend’s dad.

I guess thats the way it goes…with greater autonomy and freedom comes greater responsibility. With grown up fun comes grown up worries, and there really isn’t any turning back. I guess I’m ready to accept that…but who here wouldn’t love another chance to play in the Ball Pit at a McDonald’s PlayPlace again for a little bit?

Yeah, I guess the guy was right. I am a little old to be trick or treating. But since I’m out here…if you want to throw some of that candy my way….